A Shift In The Way Television Is Done?

Three days ago Apple announced a new product, the Video iPod. The new device, a variant of the company's immensely popular iPod is a handheld device capable of holding a minimum of 7,500 songs, 25,000 photos or 75 hours of video. The device has its own colour screen on which you can watch programs or music videos. Content is - or will be - available from the iTunes music store for $1.99. Among the content that has been made available is five TV series from Disney-ABC including Lost, Desperate Housewives and Night Stalker with episodes available the day after they air on TV. It's this content which makes this product interesting. I doubt there are many people who would buy a video capable device if all there was to watch was music videos. The videos are encoded to fit the iPod's screen resolution of 320x240 pixels and image quality degrades on larger screens.

This development leads inevitably to discussion on "what it means". In an article in his blog Blogmaverick entitled "How Bob Iger Saved Network TV" Mark Cuban suggests that by offering network content online for a price, Robert Iger (President and CEO of the Walt Disney Company which owns ABC) has "saved" the TV industry by introducing a new revenue stream. According to Cuban:

The entire TV industry is scared shitless about how advertising will evolve. Will the 30 second commercial survive? Will PVRs eliminate commercial watching in a material percentage of homes? What impact will HDTV have on TV viewing and advertising (besides the obvious rush to HDNet & HDNet Movies:)? The answers to these questions are pivotal to the programming side of the equation because without enough advertising revenue for the networks, how are they going to pay for programming?

Bob Iger has enabled a new revenue stream which if it grows, could definitely be the revenue stream that saves primetime network TV.

Cuban offers some further interesting possibilities based on the decision to include Night Stalker, a show which hasn't been setting the ratings on fire, as part of the ABC package:

What if Night Stalker turns out to be a hugely popular download? Would ABC keep it on the air for that reason? What if the show is cancelled? Will ABC sell any unaired episodes? And how many downloads will be sold of those? If the show is cancelled, are enough downloads being sold so that when combined with a license fee from a cable network, the show could live on?

Since ABC will be able to see the sell through numbers on a daily basis, will that impact programming decisions?

The important thing, according to Cuban is that Iger has "had the brilliance to say yes to giving consumers his content, where, how and when they want to consume it."

The idea is interesting, and it may extend beyond what Cuban has predicted. While the TV producers were initially reluctant to put recent programming out on DVD, there has been a trend to release shows on DVD soon after the latest season of the show has completed its repeat run, and these DVDs sell well. One case was Firefly which was cancelled after 11 episodes. The Fox Network made a DVD release of the show with the expectation of tapping into the fan market of the show. In fact the DVD release was a huge seller, to the point where Fox allowed executive producer Joss Whedon to peddle the concept to Universal to make the movie Serenity. At the very least this proves that the public wants the ability to watch its favourite shows when they want to see them. This is also reflected in the use of PVRs, VCRs, and recordable DVDs.

We know that downloading video content online is a popular activity with programs like Bittorent. While much of this material is pirated - put online without the permission of the content creators - there are some people who are producing what are essentially video podcasts, intended to be downloaded online. They aren't getting paid for this of course but they do show that the ability exists to produce programing without the support of existing networks or cable providers. Downloadable programming provides the ability to service niche markets better than regular broadcast or cable TV. Now consider the ability to package a group of shows - perhaps shows with a similar theme - and make them available as a unit at a lower price than each of the individual shows on their own. How about this? TV and movie companies often have huge libraries of product which they can't sell. The ability to download content online would make this profitable in a way that it wouldn't be on DVD or through syndication. A Paramount movie from the 1930s might not be profitable on DVD (or so say the Paramount executives) given the costs of DVD production, but if that movie could be downloaded legally and a fee paid to the studio for each download, the release of the movie would be profitable because the costs would be minimal.

Setting aside the limitations of the iPod Video unit, what Robert Iger's decision indicates is something of a paradigm shift. The TV networks, like the radio networks before them, began because they controlled the means of distribution in a way that independent stations and independent producers didn't have. The radio networks were able to contract for the telephone lines to transmit their shows to stations across the country and were able to sell advertising on their shows based on that model. The same thing went for the television networks. Distribution as much as content was king. Today the means of distribution model has changed. It goes beyond cable and satellite, which allowed a host of independent niche broadcasters to flourish because they didn't need local stations to redistribute their content. I suspect that more networks are going to offer their programming as legal downloads for pay with better quality than pirates using something like Bittorrent - if you want quality you'll have to pay for it. In the long term, the networks will have to adapt. I have a suspicion that in the future it won't be Apple that acts as the middle man between producers and consumers, it will be the networks. Want to watch an episode of The West Wing at the time of your choice? Pay your two bucks to NBC's program store and go ahead, but don't try to sell it to someone else because it won't work.

Changing their approach to how shows are sold may be the only way for the networks to remain relevant.

Heavenly

I don't have that much interest in Astronomy, but a story came over the wires today that at the very least gave me a bit of a chuckle. When I looked into it a little more it revealed something a bit more interesting. And in a peripheral sort of way it relates to television.

Most of us know the nine planets: the four inner terrestrial planets (Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars), the four gas giants (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune) and the trans-Neptunian planet with the odd orbit - Pluto. Pluto even has a moon named Charon. Astronomers don't like Pluto - it's small, it's lumpy, it doesn't orbit like the rest and worst of all it is essentially a big lump of smelly ice (frozen methane plus ammonia). But it is considered a planet and try as they might people refuse to let the astronomers demote it to the status of an asteroid.

Beyond Pluto there are other astronomical bodies. Among them are "Santa", and "Easterbunny" (I swear I'm not making these names up). Santa (so-called because it was discovered on December 28) is bigger than Pluto and has it's own moon, but is cigar shaped and tumbles end over end. But the big one is Xena and object two or three times the size of Pluto. People are already calling it the Tenth Planet, and although Xena is currently only a nickname (the real designation is 2003 UB313), the longer it keeps being referred to by that name the more likely that name is going to take with the public so that if the Astronomical Union eventually decides that it is a planet and needs a "proper" name (some Greco-Roman god of course) it will be awfully hard for them to make that name stick for a while. Well into the 19th Century some people in Britain still referred to Uranus as Georgium Sidus (George's Star - named for King George III by William Herschel). It was anounced today that Xena has a moon. For now at least it's being called Gabrielle.

I always knew they had heavenly bodies - now they are heavenly bodies.

18th Skeptic's Circle

The 18th Skeptic's Circle is up at Wolverine Tom's Blog and I was rather surprised - and not a little pleased - to see that something I wrote is included. Surprised because I didn't submit it (I suspect that Orac did). It's the piece I did in an attempt to at least partially debunking something written in The Huffington Post linking Star Trekand Pedophilia. There are other postings in this round of The Skeptic's Circle which I dare say are probably more worthy than my own and definitely well worth reading.

An Off Topic Anecdote

Mark Evanier has a little tale in News From Me about trying to get what he ordered from a fast food restaurant. I think we all have these stories about bucking the robot like mindset of the people behind the counter. Here's mine.

We went to MacDonalds a couple of weeks ago after a morning of trainspotting - my nephew at age 2 1/2 is nuts about trains and my brother knows all the right places to see them - and as usual I am responsible for ordering for my mother and myself. On this particular day I had the Oriental salad but my mother, who isn't a heavy eater wanted a cheeseburger with onions but none of the other stuff they slather on it, fries and a drink. I ordered a cheeseburger Happy Meal (which has everything she wanted plus it's cheaper and there's a toy involved which I though would go to my nephew; it's a rather nice cast figure of Donald Duck and it's now sitting on top of my computer because Brian doesn't like those according to his dad). I told the server that I wanted "a Cheeseburger Happy Meal with nothing on it but onions". Unlike Mark we weren't eating in so it wasn't till we got to my brother's house that we discovered what had happened. The cheeseburger had no cheese on it, just the onions - and a pretty pathetic sprinkling of them at that. Obviously I am too stupid for MacDonalds. I believed that when I said that I wanted a cheeseburger the clear implication was that it would have actual cheese on it. How after all can you have a cheeseburger sans cheese? Back when I was a kid we called that a hamburger with onions, which if I'm not mistaken MacDonalds also sells. Apparently the people at MacDonalds believe that believe that if you say you only want onions on a cheeseburger you mean that you want onions and no cheese.

Last weekend I went to Wendy's instead.

Fantasy TV Anyone?

Last year I participated in the Fantasy TV Game where you draft a lineup of TV characters and quirks found on specific shows. Points are allocated for various appearances and activities during an episode. Teams - the lineups selected by players - are matched up each week. At the end of the regular season - usually six weeks - after which the top teams participate in two weeks of "sweeps". It sort of works like a fantasy football league. Last year I participated in three public leagues and won one.

This year I'm interested in setting up a private league with readers of this blog. If you're interested in participating email me and when I get five other people who are interested in playing I'll set up a league and send you passwords. There's no cost, but you do have to register at the website. For the record I've never had any spam problem with them.

Let's see if we can have some fun with this!

Katrina Blog

My old Diplomacy buddy and mentor Cal White (who now has his dream job running a radio station at the Wahta Mohawk Territory up near Bala Ontario) sent me a link to a weblog being published by a guy in New Orleans who works for DirectNIC. Apparently he and a small crew have been holding down the fort (almost literally) and reporting information since the hurricane began. Pretty interesting stuff, particularly if you read fromt he beginning. The Blog is at http://mgno.com/ so check it out.

Edit: Sam pointed out that there was no link there. That's what I get for trusting w.bloggar and not checking the actual post.

Special Reminder

This is just a special reminder for those of you who aren't aware that NBC will be presenting a special hour-long benefit for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. The special, which will be broadcast from the NBC studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza will feature Tim McGraw, Harry Connick, Jr., Wynton Marsalis, Leonardo DiCaprio, Faith Hill, Claire Danes, Aaron Neville, Mike Myers, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Swank, Eli Manning, John Goodman, Eric LaSalle, "and more..." Winton Marsalis, Harry Connick Jr., Aaron Neville, and Eli Manning were all born in New Orleans, while Tim McGraw was born in Delhi Louisiana and Faith Hill was born in Jackson Mississippi.

For Canadians interested in donating to help the hurricane victims, the best way is to give money to the Canadian Red Cross for reasons which are explained on their website. Donations can be specifically designated for Hurricane relief. The Canadian government will be sending three naval ships and a Coast Guard vessel with a thousand men to New Orleans on Tuesday, and they are expected to arrive in three to four days.

OT: Canada's Response to Hurricane Katrina

This just came up a little while ago. I've seen a number of blogs which have complained that foreign countries haven't responded with offers of aid as a result of the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. While I don't know what the case is with other nations, I do know that there is an official Canadian response as stated by Deputy Prime Minister Anne McLellan and Health and Human Services Minister Ujjal Dosanjh. The pertinent material is as follows:

The Deputy Prime Minister added that she has contacted U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and advised him that Canada stands ready to provide assistance if needed. In addition, the Minister of Health, Ujjal Dosanjh, has directed the Public Health Agency of Canada to contact the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and offer any assistance that may be helpful, such as emergency medical supplies contained in the National Emergency Stockpile System.

The important part is that the offer has in fact been made but that official government aid will not be sent unless it is requested.

TV For The Geek In Us

Once upon a time there was a little cable network named ZDTV. The ZD stood for Ziff-Davis, the magazine publishers who among other things publish PC Magazine and Computer Gaming World. The focus of ZDTV was technology and from the beginning their leading host was Leo Laporte. A few years later ZDTV was sold to Paul Allen and renamed TechTV, based in San Francisco.

Paul Allen was a "Friend of Bill". The problem was that he wasn't a "Friend of Bill W." or even a "Friend of Bill Clinton" it was worse ... much worse. Paul Allen was a friend of Bill Gates and indeed was the co-founder of Microsoft. Allen owned TechTV through his investment company Vulcan Ventures which also owned such things as Charter Communications the Portland Trailblazers and the Rose Garden Arena in Portland. The trouble was that the company made a number of bad choices, such as a nine hour a day live tech news program which later shrank to three one hour programs a day and eventually became a half hour daily show. Still, the network was seen by 40 million households across Canada and the United States, and had at least some distribution in some 70 countries.

There were problems however. In 2001 and 2002 Comcast Cable dropped TechTV from most of their cable systems. Comcast had their own network called G4 (which supposedly stands for four generations of video games and gaming platforms, although there are other theories which are less kind). G4 was focussed almost entirely on videogaming. G4 itself had a problem because a lot of non-Comcast cable systems were not picking up the G4 network. At the same time Vulcan Ventures was having troubles with its investments with the arena in Portland (which eventually declared bankruptcy in February 2004) as well as losses from TechTV. In March 2004 G4 and Vulcan Ventures announced the sale of TechTV to G4 which merged the two as G4-TechTV. In fact it was more full submersion than a true merger. Comcast had bought the network to gain access to cable systems which had previously not carried G4. The new entity immediately fired 250 existing TechTV employees and Leo Laporte left in a contract dispute. The remaining 80 to 100 employees were told they could keep their jobs if they relocated to Los Angeles. Only a handful of TechTV shows were actually retained, including The Screen Savers and X-Play which was TechTV's own videogame review show, although within a couple of months of the move to Los Angeles most of the on-air TechTV personnel were fired - today only four remain with the network - and in February 2005 Comcast dropped "TechTV" from the name of the network, returning it to G4.

Even before the elimination of "TechTV" from the name, the merged network retained the original G4's focus on gaming rather than technology. This posed something of a problem for many of TechTV's international partners most of which simply dropped the network programming when the merger occurred. There was a much bigger problem in Canada where, in order to get the network on digital cable Vulcan had entered into a partnership with the country's two largest cable companies (and not coincidentally two of the largest ISPs) Rogers Cable and Shaw Cable to create TechTV Canada which went on the air in 2001. Vulcan had a minority position in ownership which was inherited by G4. There were certain restrictions which Canadian regulations inflicted on the channel, for example not being able to show entertainment programming notably Anime Unleashed. Rogers and Shaw couldn't have been too happy with the sudden change in format and they certainly weren't happy with the drop in viewership which was beginning to happen almost as soon as the merger was announced. They had started a technology channel - and had good viewership for it - rather than a gaming channel. Even if losses in viewers didn't hurt them there was also their CRTC license renewal to consider. Rogers Cable decided that they needed to do something. What they did in August 2004 was to hire Leo Laporte to host a new version of Call For Help, this time based out of Toronto. Subsequently the program was picked up by the "HOW TO" Channel in Australia and there were active efforts being made to bring the show to an American station, efforts that were finally rewarded when, ironically, G4 decided to buy the show. It will start airing on the American network on Monday, August 29 at 11 A.M. EDT.

So what will American audiences be seeing? The simple answer is what they won't be seeing and that is a show exactly like the original Call For Help. There's a simple reason for this - it isn't live TV. Laporte hasn't moved to Canada; he lives in the Petaluma area of California and commutes to Toronto for one week a month to do a month of show episodes. This means no live calls and also no real technology news. In fact Leo Laporte has compared the new version of the show with the old TechTV version of The Screen Savers. There are phone calls but the basic questions are submitted in advance by email, allowing more research and more accurate answers to the questions, but less spontaneity. That doesn't stop Leo from displaying the same evangelical fervour for teaching people about everything from computers to cell phones and big screen TVs that he had when he was doing the original versions of Call For Help and The Screen Savers (not bad for a guy who admits that he started doing technology programming "to get free stuff"). The show also offers more technology related tips delivered by Laporte and his co-hosts, technology writer Andy Walker and journalist, and professional web designer Amber MacArthur. Walker's demonstrations of how things work - usually involving food stuffs - are infamous as well as both funny and informative. Unfortunately there are rumours, which seem to have been confirmed by a rather indicative "non-denial" that Walker wrote in his own blog on Cyberwalker.com, that Walker will be leaving the show. There are a number of regular guests, notably Steve Gibson of Gibson Research who discusses Internet Security for personal computer users, and Photoshop expert Alex Lindsay. A recent addition to the show is former TechTV host Kevin Rose who is doing a number of segments each month - he too is flying up from California to do the show. The show is good, but viewers probably shouldn't expect the same show that they remember when the original Call For Help was on.

A more interesting question is why G4 has decided to bring back Call For Help? One suggestion is that the new head of broadcasting for Comcast is less than happy with the performance of G4. The simple fact of course is that while the acquisition of TechTV was an attempt to buy eyeballs the purchase alienated TechTV's original viewership. They bought households but those households didn't necessarily turn into increased market share. Indeed it it is interesting to note that one of the most popular series on the network is the old TechTV games review show X-Play with Adam Sesler and Morgan Webb. In addition to Call For Help The network is reducing its reliance on gaming further with the addition of a British science series called Brainiac: Science Abuse starring Richard Hammond and Jonathon Tickle (originally a contestant on the British version of Big Brother), and revived two old TechTV series, Nerd Nation and Future Fighting Machines. Think that they have to; the simple fact is that people who play video games aren't like golfers or participants in outdoor pursuits (two of Comcast's other networks are The Golf Channel and OLN (formerly the Outdoor Life Network). They would rather be playing video games that watching other people playing video games. My opinion is that G4 was built on a flawed model as a result, and the return of more generic technology focussed programming, including the addition of the new version of Call For Help is the first step in the right direction. Technology geeks can always find the sort of "fix" that they need - Laporte offers one of the most popular podcasts around with his This Week In Tech and has several other offerings, Kevin Rose has a weekly podcast called Diggnation that looks at the top stories on Digg.com as well as a couple of streaming video shows through his company Revision 3, and even Amber MacArthur and Mike Lazazera (Call For Help's technical researcher and a frequent guest on the show) have a streaming video show called Command-N. However a conventional television show, even one on a cable network such as G4 or the old TechTV, reaches a far greater audience. As Rogers Media realised when they brought Leo Laporte up to Canada to revive Call For Help, the market exists for this kind of programming, it just needs to be reached.

Vote In The Poll - But Be Aware That Your Candidate Could Be Taken Out

Just to update you on the current poll, we have had a grand total of four voters so far which makes statistical reliability - even for this sort of poll - just about nil. I don't know if this is because you don't like any of the candidates, couldn't be bothered, or (as I suspect or at least hope) just haven't seen them. If you do have an opinion though, please vote.

Of course voting isn't necessarily a guarantee that your candidate will win or if he does win will be above attack from outside forces. Take President Hugo Chavez for example. He was elected in 1998 with a 56.2% majority and has resisted both an attempted military coup and a recall referendum (the vote in the latter was 59.25% of those who voted and there was a record turn out at the polls; the result was certified by two independent observing organizations). This is just to show that Chavez is popular amongst his own people even if his policies tend to irritate the United States. Which is what makes what follows at least a little noteworthy.

On his ABC Family Channel show, The 700 Club Pat Robertson stated that Chavez was going to make Venzuela "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent." He questioned the U.S. policy against assassination "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war" and stated that U.S. Special Forces should "take him out." He subsequently recanted his statement, say that he "didn’t say ‘assassination.’ I said our special forces should ‘take him out.’ And ‘take him out’ can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him." It doesn't really matter that he is on tape saying that they should assassinate him, even saying that he should be kidnapped constitutes an advocacy of terrorism. Although Chavez himself seems unconcerned (he said of Roberston that "I don't even know who he is") other people in his government are reacting, notable Vice President Jose Vincente Rangel who said "This is a huge hypocrisy to maintain an anti-terrorist line and at the same time have such terrorist statements as these made by Christian preacher Pat Robertson coming from the same country."

The reaction in Venezuela is understandable, and what you'd expect from any country. Can you imagine what the reaction would be if some figure from another country, even one with marginalized political position such as Jean-Marie la Pen of France, were to say that they should "take out" George W. Bush? Still, I frankly doubt that any action will be taken against Robertson. He is largely a marginal figure in Republican politics - a comedown from his position in 1988 when he was regarded as having a legitimate chance of winning the Republican nomination that eventually went to George H. W. Bush - and he has a history of making irresponsible statements. Still there is a point here (and it's even related to television). Robertson's show on the ABC Family Channel exists as a contractual obligation from the time when Robertson's own Christian Broadcasting Network owned it. The show, which might be marginalized in syndication and on the explicitly religious CBN. The fact is that if it weren't for television Roberston wouldn't have the power that he once had or even such power as he currently retains. With his 700 Club show Robertson gets an hour a week to expound on his views, and he doesn't even have to veil them with fictionalised presentations. How many people get that opportunity? The answer is precious few. Teddy Roosevelt once called the Presidency a "bully pulpit" - a way to have your views and your every action widely distributed and analysed. Teddy Roosevelt never encounter television. TV is the ultimate "bully pulpit" in that political statements that are broadcast, even if they aren't made by Presidents, Prime Ministers or Kings probably reach a greater percentage of the people than the newspapers that carried the political speeches of Roosevelt's day. As such, it is a platform with great power and as has often been said, with great power comes great responsibility. Time and again, Robertson has failed to use the power which being able to create a TV show and a TV network to put it on has given him, responsibly.

We Get Sacks And Sacks Of Letters

Well actually we get a couple of emails, which I should have dealt with sooner but the past few days have been nothing like routine. Just as an example, tonight I had to help babysit my nephew who is with his dad for a week while his mom is taking a trip. You have no idea how many times a two and a half year old who is ticked off because Dad is off playing ball and hasn't taken little Brian with him (because it was too cold and too wet and Brian wants to be physically close to Dad not just watching him at a distance) can watch a Thomas the Tank Engine video between screaming and whimpering. Well actually parents can but if the rest of us knew, we'd probably give up sex as a bad idea. Suffice it to say that I know pretty much all of the lines from James And The Red Balloon and the song that is in it. But I'm supposed to be talking about a couple of interesting emails.

First, Tony Figueroa sent me a link to a Hollywood Reporter article on the CBC lockout. Trust me, I'm aware of it. CBC and the Canadian Media Guild, which represents most of the on air and technical personnel at the CBC have been engaged in an "ongoing labour dispute" since 12:01 on Monday. This is having an effect on Radio and TV programming. There have been a lot of reruns on the main TV network, and the National News has been replaced with newscasts from BBC World. where it has had an impact has been on live reporting from sporting events such as the Canada Games and potentially coverage of CFL Football. Where it gets scary is when the news reports speak of the potential impact on NHL broadcasts, given that hockey doesn't come back until October. The Canadian Media Guild is fighting a CBC plan to increase the percentage of CBC employees who are on short term contracts. Currently about 30% of employees are described as "non-permanent" but management points out that 25% of the total work force (about 83% of the existing non-permanent work force) are in fact temporary employees, working as replacements for workers on sick leave or on special assignment. The Corporation wants to review new positions as they become vacant and determine if the jobs can moved to a short term basis. The CMG regards such a process as an attempt to turn the CBC into "MacDonalds" by making virtually all positions short term.

I missed the deadline on an email from Bryce Zabel. He wanted me to promote a poll he was running on his blog, dealing with the "Outstanding Drama Series" for the Emmys. Unfortunately I was a bit too busy to check my GMail account for a couple of days. As some of you may know, Bryce was the Chairman of the TV Academy from 2001-2003, so if nothing else he knows about Emmy polling. Sorry about that Bryce, I thought I had more time.

Finally there's an email from Jim and Tanya Ryno who are publicizing their desire to be on Fear Factor using a blog to promote their campaign to get cast on the show. Tanya is a freelance producer who used to work for Saturday Night Live who has a movie - Coney Island Baby which has just been released on DVD. This is what they wrote "We are using a blog to try and up our chances of getting cast on NBC's hit show, Fear Factor. We have already been auditioned and called back. They are fully aware that we are doing this. So this site, therefore, is an experiment. How much influence can we generate from the blogosphere and fans of the show? Will we succeed in getting the casting directors to make their final decision based on our support?" Frankly I doubt that having this blog will get them on Fear Factor, but I've never been one to speak out against self promotion, particularly when I regularly kick their butts on Blog Explosion's Battle of the Blogs. But I will help them promote their blog - Fear Factor's Million Dollar Couple - even though I won't be voting for them. I can't stand Fear Factor and haven't watched it since the second season. Now if it were The Amazing Race they wanted to be on I'd be all over it. If I can't be on the show (because I'm a Canadian) I'd be happy to think that someone I supported was.

Happy Canada Day!

This has nothing to do with TV except that CBC will, as usual, be broadcasting several hours of music and celebrating from Parliament Hill in the next few hours. However some of my 'Merican blogging buddies have been hacking me off by posting premature patriotism from their side of the Medicine Line (what the Sioux and other tribes called the border during the Indian Wars - and what Americans in search of cheap prescription drugs call it today) and there must be retaliation. So my friends, the Fathers of Confederation!

Two Ties Between Star Wars And TV

Every blogger in the world seems to be writing about Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith, which is of course Star Wars VI in terms of being the sixth movie made in the series but really, that's neither here nor there. I haven't seen the movie, and I won't. I loved the original Star Wars. I loved The Empire Strikes Back. I liked about half of Return of the Jedi (including Carrie Fisher in the brass bikini) but Lucas lost me forever with those feral Teddy Bears known as Ewoks. I've only seen Phantom Menace on TV and only watched it once, and I have no desire to see Attack of the Clones.

Still thinking about Star Wars takes me back to a couple of TV related things. Did you know that Star Trek: The Motion Picture was delayed by about two years and had the script that it did because of Star Wars? Paramount had decided to go ahead with a Star Trek movie in 1976 and had selected a script which was being rewritten by Philip Kaufman (at the time best known for the script for The Outlaw Josie Wales). At that point Star Wars came out and with all the merchandise, the studio apparently decided that the Sci-Fi fans had spent all their money and wouldn't go to see a Star Trek movie. This in turn led the executives at Paramount to think about starting a TV network built initially around Paramount movies and a new Star Trek series. A pilot script for the series was actually written and when it became apparent that the network idea was a dud, that script became Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Almost 20 years later Paramount started a TV network initially built around a new Star Trek series. Some might say that the idea was still a dud.

The other major connection was the Star Wars vs. Battlestar Galactica lawsuit. Universal Pictures noted the success of Star Wars and thought that they could do something for TV. ABC was interested in a weekly series. Glen Larson, the journeyman writer and producer, envisaged the project as a series of TV movies that might develop into a series, but both Universal and ABC wanted a series. Larson hired visual effects master John Dykstra away from Lucas for the series. They came up with a three hour pilot - which in Canada at least was also released theatrically - which then provided a lot of stock shots for the eventual series. However the whole thing caught the eyes of Lucas and 20th Century Fox, which had released Star Wars. They sued for plagiarism, claiming 34 different ideas that Battlestar Galactica had taken from Star Wars. These included such elements as "Muffet" the robot Dagit being similar to the Star Wars droids, the relationship between the roguish Starbuck and the clean-cut Apollo being similar to the roguish Han Solo and the clean-cut Luke Skywalker, and the similarity appearance of the Cylons and the Imperial Storm Troopers. I don't have a complete list of the similarities cited by Fox, but they probably even objected to the use of the term "Battlestar" as being similar to "Deathstar". I do know that Sharon McCrumb was told to alter the name of her novel Bimbos Of The Death Star to Bimbos Of The Death Sun because of fear of a law suit from Lucas. On learning of the suit, Universal threatened to counter-sue, claiming that Lucas had stolen liberally from Universal serials such as Buck Rogers and the three Flash Gordon series. They also claimed that Lucas stole the idea of droids - specifically R2D2 - were stolen from the three small robots in the Universal movie Silent Running: Huey, Dewey, and Louie. In the end the 20th Century Fox suit was dismissed as being "without merit". Unfortunately by that time ABC had cancelled Battlestar Galactica and were working on the dismal Galactica 1980.

Lost In The Translation

A couple of years after Food TV first showed up in Canada I stumbled upon the debut of a new series (at least new to them) called Iron Chef. If you remember Food TV at the time it was pretty dire. There was - I kid you not - a show about making dog biscuits, called Three Dog Bakery after the hosts who owned an establishment by that name. About the best show on the network was Two Fat Ladies, and yeah I am including Emeril on that list. Iron Chef was a revelation. It presented cooking like a competitive sport complete with announcer Fukui Kenji (I'm giving the names in the Japanese manner with the surname first), colour commentator Hattori Yukio, and on field reporter Ota Shinichiro. The fact that sometimes the show seemed like pro wrestling - like when various factions formed to confront various Iron Chefs of which the most notable was the Ohta Faction that was headhunting for the third Iron Chef Japanese Morimoto Masaharu - made it more fun. Even the music fits - I can't watch the movie Backdraft without expecting to see a flamboyantly dressed Japanese man show up and chomp on a bell pepper. It rapidly went on my list of guilty pleasures until I discovered that it was on so many people's list of guilty pleasures that it had actually become something of a mainstream show. Just to show you how popular the show was, I remember going to dinner at my brother's house with my mother and some of my brother's friends. While Greg and his then wife Jana were upstairs cooking the rest of us were in the basement watching TV and talking. At the appropriate time I switched the TV over to Food TV to watch Iron Chef. A few minutes later my brother - who is not a fan - came down and tried to change the channel. There was a general rebellion amongst the guests. The same thing happened when my sister-in-law came down and tried to get the channel changed - the only one on her side was my brother.

It was probably inevitable that once it became apparent how popular the show was, there was be an attempt to create an American version. The first tentative move was made by Food TV in cooperation with the show's Japanese producers, Fuji TV. They brought most of the Japanese cast including Hattori, Fukui, Iron Chefs Sakai Hiroyuki and Kobe Masahiko (Morimoto lived in New York at the time), retired Iron Chef Michiba Rokusaburo, and the show's host "Chairman" Kaga Takeshi, to New York City to do an episode for the Japanese series but also set it up as a Food TV special. In it, Morimoto went up against American chef - and Food TV star - Bobby Flay. Despite an all-American judging panel including restaurant guide writers Tim and Nina Zagat and Donna Hanover (then going through an extremely messy divorce from New York Mayor Rudy Gulianni) and an audience member, Flay lost and in doing so cemented his reputation as a bit of a brat.

The first real attempt to do an all-American version of Iron Chef was made by UPN in two specials that seemed to be intended as pilots for a series. They took all of the elements of the Japanese version and did them completely wrong. They took a large showroom space in Las Vegas for their Kitchen Stadium and filled it with cheering "fans" complete with signs that I'm sure were made by the producers and handed to audience members as they came in. The announcers came across as converted wrestling announcers with absolutely no knowledge of food (while Fukui Kenji from the Japanese version is a baseball announcer, his partner Hattori Yukio is an expert on food whose business - Hattori Nutrition College - was involved in the creation of the show) and the less said about floor reporter Sissy Biggers and "Chairman" William Shatner the better. I said at the time that the only man who could possibly be an American version of Kaga was Liberace and he was, unfortunately, dead. The quality of the judges can be summed up by the fact that one said that the only way to eat tuna is on bread with mayonnaise, and another judge was Bruce Villanch. About the only thing they got right was their selection of Iron Chefs. The show tanked in the ratings - even by UPN standards - and no more was heard of it.

Which brings us to the new incarnation of Iron Chef. This version is being done by Food TV and is light years beyond the UPN version. As "Chairman" they have martial artist and actor Marc Dacascos as "Chairman" Kaga's nephew. Instead of an announcer and a colour commentator, the producers have decided to use Food TV host Alton Brown as the announcer with another network personality Kevin Brauch as floor reporter. It's a nice choice since both men seem to know what they're talking about with reference to food, and if they don't know what's going on the chefs are miked and close enough to make comments and answer questions. After an initial four episode series of specials featuring Japanese Iron Chefs Morimoto and Sakai (a third Japanese Iron Chef, Chen Kenichi was supposed to appear but had to cancel due to a death in the family) against American Iron Chefs (and Food TV hosts) Bobby Flay, Mario Battali and Wolfgang Puck, the series was picked up although Puck was replaced (mercifully) with Morimoto (who now runs his own restaurant in Philadelphia). The result was Iron Chef America.

I enjoy Iron Chef America, but there are enough differences between this and the Japanese version (which is no longer in production) to make the whole thing feel somewhat "off". While Alton Brown is extremely knowledgeable, my feeling is that he may need someone who has less knowledge than him to work off of in the way that Hattori-san worked off of Fukui and one or two of the guest judges. The judges are another minor problem. In the Japanese version the usual format was to have at least one and possibly two celebrities as judges, in addition to one of a group of regular judges who weren't in the food business and (usually) a judge who was a culinary writer or other professional - the most frequent choice was Kishi Asako. In the episodes of the Iron Chef America that I've seen almost all of the judges have been professional food critics. They may know food, but they aren't prone to make silly comments like the notorious "bimbos du jour" from the original series. Another minor quibble is the decision to dress the Iron Chefs in a sort of uniform of blue jackets with an American flag on the right shoulder and the only distinguishing mark being a different coloured patch for each man on the left arm. The Japanese Iron Chefs each had their own distinctive outfit right down to their hats. The uniform look of the American Iron Chefs gives an impression not unlike the kitchen staff at your local East Side Marios or some other chain where the kitchen personnel are on view. A big change is that they've abandoned the fiction that the Challengers chose which Iron Chef they'd face. (It was a fiction. In the Japanese show the producers would suggest a couple of opponents to a challenger some time before taping and the selection would be made at that time. Thus it was rare that all of the Iron Chefs were in the studio at the same time. They also gave both the Iron Chef and the challenger a list of five potential featured ingredients, one of which would be used.) In the American version of the show, the Chairman chooses which Iron Chef will be featured.

As I say, I enjoy Iron Chef America and I hope that it will be enough of a success that Food TV and Food Network Canada (which was created by Alliance-Atlantis in partnership with the American channel a couple of years ago - it helps with Canadian television regulations and provides the Canadian channel with different content than the American parent) will continue to produce and broadcast it. It's a good show, but that said, the fact remains that there is something ever so slightly off that keeps it from being the great show that the Japanese Iron Chef was. If someone can figure out what that missing ingredient is, they might have something.