Short Takes - February 12, 2007

I haven't been writing much lately: I know I haven't written much, and I've got a lot of shows that I should be writing about, including Heroes, Little Mosque On The Prairie,and Studio 60 before it goes on hiatus, and probably a whole bunch of other shows, but I haven't been doing it. I meant to write about the return of Robson Arms but I lay down for a nap and the $500 alarm clock (aka my TV) wasn't loud enough to wake me up (my ears plug up sometimes). There are several reasons but the big one is just how annoying I find it to write blog entries on this old computer. Then too there's been all the drama surrounding my brother moving to British Columbia and my mother and I having to finishing the packing here while he works at his new job in Langley. These things will pass: Greg's stuff has to be out of his old house by the end of the month and I hope to have a new computer by the end of the month as well (at the risk of reviving an old commercial pitch man, "Dudes, I'm probably getting a Dell"). Now if someone could just tell me what the best security set up for Vista is.

Actually there is something else I've been doing lately: And it has been impinging on my writing time. A little over a year ago I started playing on the Hollywood Stock Exchange, and after a year I'm starting to get the hang of it. In fact I've got a spreadsheet and started a second portfolio to test out a couple of ideas. I'm having fun, but it is taking time.

I am not the father of Anna Nicole's daughter: In fact, not only did I not have sex with that woman, there wasn't enough money on earth for me to have been interested in having sex with her.

That said I suppose that it's only fitting that her death played itself out on cable TV and the entertainment "news" shows because so much of her life played out in those venues. Sure, she was in Playboy first but most of the other aspects of her life played out on cable TV and shows like Entertainment Tonight. Her marriage to J. Howard Marshall was a fixture of the tabloids - both the print and TV type - and her court battles over Marshall's estate was a fixture on Court TV, the cable news networks, and the entertainment "news" shows. She starred in her own Osbourne style reality TV show for a time. Her daughter's birth and her son's death just three days later were in the media results of her son's second autopsy - paid for by Smith herself - was announced on CNN's Larry King Show. So it isn't surprising that Anna Nichole's own death was given blanket coverage by cable TV.

There is something disturbing about the way that much of the dealt with Smith's death. The American cable news outlets - CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC - all offered hours of blanket coverage of Smith's death, to the point where Lou Dobbs stated at the beginning of his program on the day of her death that he would not mention Anna Nichole Smith in the hour of his show. Meanwhile, although all of the network news shows aired a mention of Smith's death none of them led with the story. NBC led with NBC broadcaster Tim Russert's testimony at the trial of Lewis "Scooter" Libby, while ABC and CBS both ran stories about a new study on the increased number of children suffering from autism. The nightly network news broadcast - at least according to a lot of people, many of whom are associated with the cable news industry - is supposedly a dying form, but in this case they did a better job of delivering actual news in a half hour package than their competitors in the cable industry did.

It was such a divergence in content that during the NBC newscast anchor Brian Williams stated "This may say a lot about our current culture of celebrity and media these days when all the major cable news networks switched over to nonstop live coverage this afternoon when word arrived that Anna Nicole Smith had died." In MediaBistro's report on the coverage, a viewer stated that "Much TV coverage was extended when Gerald Ford died; I, like many people, was not alive when Ford was president, and sadly, I know Anna Nicole better than Ford. Cable news shouldn't feel guilty for covering something that is news." It is a sad commentary on so many levels that people thought they "knew" Anna Nichole Smith. What they "knew" was an image filtered through the sleazier parts of the media. Anna Nichole Smith didn't have the sort of impact on anyone that a president, or even an actress like Marilyn Monroe had. Anna Nichole Smith was a media creation (because in the end she did little to deserve the attention she received) and her death was deemed to be news - and got far greater attention than it deserved - because the media convinced people that she was more important than the real issues of the day.

Who does the PTC hate this week?: The PTC site was down for a while and I noticed that something was taken off (I believe it was a complaint about an "F"-bomb dropped on Don Imus's MSNBC show). But there is something else. It seems as though there are certain shows that just irritate the PTC. One of these is Las Vegas but another is Two and a Half Men. The latter show is the one that currently has the PTC's "knickers in a twist" as at least some Brits would say. According to the PTC's current "worst of the week", the episode in question is a "careless discussion of promiscuous sex, masturbation, and infidelity in front of a young boy is evidence of the network’s (CBS) complete disregard for family viewers at 9:00 p.m. (8:00 in the Central and Mountain time zones)." The set up for the show was that 12-year-old Jake has overheard his mother and her boyfriend having sex night after night. In the words of the PTC, "Instead of displaying responsible parenting and helping Jake to understand complexities of what he has heard, Jake’s father (Alan), uncle (Charlie), and housekeeper begin a dialogue rich in kinky sexual innuendo that carries on for the entirety of the show." Later in the episode "Charlie discovers repressed memories of watching his mother having sex with several different men and one woman. He agonizes over the trauma the memories have caused him. When he tries to confront his mother about the memories he once again catches his mother in the act of promiscuous sex with a strange man." In summation the PTC states that "The irony of the episode it that it carelessly documents the trauma a young boy experienced and the developmental problems he faces after being exposed to reckless sex, while at the same time broadcasting the content for millions of young viewers to digest."

The PTC didn't just label Two and a Half Men as their worst show of the week though. They also sent out one of their usual press releases in which they demand that "unwitting sponsors" of this filth should demand a refund of their money. Of course if they did know the content the advertisers should "seriously evaluate how their customers will feel when they learn of the sponsor’s decision to underwrite references to bestiality, masturbation with fresh produce, and other graphic sexual dialog. Is this truly the kind of content they want to associate with their hard-earned corporate brands? We certainly intend to inform the public as to which sponsors knew what they were underwriting." And then they throw in this one just to seal the outrage: “Not only was the dialogue inappropriate for children watching during that early prime time hour, but the actor playing Jake who was involved in just about every scene is 13-year-old Angus Jones. It vexing that CBS would pay a child to say such things.” True. When I was that age we'd say such things for free and think we were sophisticated.

Okay, here's a couple my comments on this whole thing. First I would be surprised if anyone doesn't know the sort of content that is seen on Two and a Half Men if for no other reason than the fact that the PTC keeps harping on it. I've never watched the show but I've got a pretty good idea of what's going on. As far as why the show didn't engage in a display of "responsible parenting" by "helping Jake to understand complexities of what he has heard" well let's remember that this is a comedy in the 21st century rather than the 1980s when the "very special episode" was a dominant feature (it seemed like every episode of Blossom was labelled a "very special episode, but maybe it was just me) and what the PTC wanted the show to do was not only not in keeping with the nature of the show but dare I say it not funny - although the prospect of Charlie Sheen helping any kid to "understand complexities of what he has heard" has considerable comedic potential. In the end it comes down to the PTC, in the guise of protecting children, wanting to decide what everyone is allowed to watch rather than giving actual parents credit for knowing what is suitable for their own children.

Poll Results - Which of these series is the best new show so far this season?

Fandom. You gotta love it. Well actually you don't. I can imagine that there are a ton of executives at various networks and studios who dearly wish that fans of a show or a movie would just give them their money and then go docilely home like the little sheep they imagine them to be once the thing - whether it's a TV series or a movie - is over and not bother them about it again. Of course the people who run movie studios and TV networks don't understand Fandom. I once heard a story - which may or may not be true - about the preparations for the original Star Trek movie. It seems that the execs at Paramount were ready to start production when a little movie called Star Wars came out. Paramount immediately shelved the Star Trek movie on the grounds that the science fiction fans had spent all their money on Star Wars (and all the licensed stuff associated with it that made George Lucas wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice). I don't know if it's true but it makes a good story.

I've been a Fan - I was a Dueser (Due South), a Browncoat (Firefly) and enough of a Trekker that I watched all six series, including the animated one from Filmation that made Hanna-Barbera animation look like Disney at its best. Fans can save shows - I doubt that Arrested Development would have lasted as long as it did without a devoted cohort of fans (a cohort, by the way, is a Roman military unit smaller than a legion - if Arrested Development had a legion of fans it might still be on). I sometimes wonder why Fans gravitate to the shows they do. Beauty and the Beast with Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman was a Fan Favourite with a lot of the fans being women who found the character of Vincent "romantic". Which was true, but if you looked at the series a bit harder you realized that Vincent was a character who solved his problems (usually a threat to Catherine) by eviscerating his enemies. I'm just saying.

All of which brings me to the most recent poll. I got hit by "Kidnappers" - fans of the series Kidnapped - in a big way. More votes were cast than in any of my previous polls ever! Interestingly enough if you took out the votes for Kidnapped it was still one of the highest number of votes cast in one of these. And most of these were votes by individuals; despite a rather flawed execution on my part I was able to blog multiple voters for most of the polling period. I know because I tested it with a vote of my own.

So anyway, the results. Seventy-six votes were case. Tied for tenth place with no votes were Standoff, The Game, 'Til Death, Men In Trees, Big Day, and Justice. In a tie for seventh place with one vote (1%) each were Jericho, Shark, and The Class. In a tie for fifth place with two votes each (2%) were 30 Rock and Ugly Betty. In fourth place with three votes (3%) was Friday Night Lights while Studio 60 finished third with four votes (5%). The second place finisher was Heroes with eight votes (10%). However the overwhelming winner, with fifty-four votes, 71% of those cast was Kidnapped. As just about everyone should have expected.

For the record, the show I voted for as a test was Friday Night Lights but the reason I cast my vote for that show is because I think that it is a criminally overlooked gem of a show, and I am so glad that the powers that be at NBC are supporting it even while I agree with the "Kidnappers" that the network thoroughly mishandled Kidnapped almost from the moment it was announced in the network's first variation of their schedule. Here's the interesting thing in my opinion anyway: of the nine shows that got votes in this poll, five are on NBC and all of them got more than one vote. Only one other show - ABC's Ugly Betty - managed to do that. That's all of the NBC shows on the list. Of those five only one is secure in terms of ratings and that's Heroes. It seems then that in the opinion of the readers of this blog, NBC has produced the best shows of the season, Nielson ratings be damned. Very interesting stuff indeed.

I have an idea for a new poll which will be up shortly, after I look for a better polling client.

It's National Gorilla Suit Day!

Sorry I'm late in posting this but I spent a little too much time celebrating Gorilla Suit Eve - you know how it is.

It's been a relatively quiet Gorilla Suit Day around here. The weather prevents the traditional throwing of banana peels. They tend to freeze and by the time they thaw out it is, well rather disgusting. Another problem around here because of the weather is that you can't always tell when people are wearing their Gorilla Suits until they get to a party. There is nothing more pathetic than wearing a Gorilla Suit under a parka. I am going to a party tonight - we even have Fester Bestertester pinata.

Anyway, while surfing the web for an appropriate picture to put here, I found the mother lode at this site and its attendant gallery page. But I still haven't found a picture of the infamous Wayne Shuster Gorilla Suit.

And now the traditional National Gorilla Suit Day music, courtesy of the Nairobi Trio.

Why Microsoft Released Vista Today

Because Bill Gates knew that if he released it on National Gorilla Suit Day no one would pay attention.

(Including him!)

For Sam And Ivan

Since two of my favourite blogging buddies, Sam Johnson and Ivan Shreve are both from Savannah Georgia, I immediately thought of them when I came upon this bit of YouTubery the TVSquad site. Admittedly the the local anchorman treats the subject like a caveman introducing a new invention called "the wheel" and at the end seems astonished that there are so many people who would come to such an event, but remember how local news all over the place covered Star Trek conventions and Comics Conventions in the past. Actually, come to think of it they still cover them the same way. Local news anchors - names and faces may change from place to place but never the qualities that keeps them in local markets.

Not Quite Short Takes

Normally on Saturday or Sunday I have been running a series of posts that I call "Short Takes" where I discuss bits of TV business. I've missed a few posts since Christmas and really I don't have my usual resources to do one today. However, I can't possibly let the opportunity provided by the influx of Kidnapped fandom pass without a mention of my nemesis, the Parents Television Council and some of their recent antics.

Who does the PTC like this week?: They actually do like some TV shows, but unfortunately they tend to be the most innocuous sort of show possible. Quality is not an issue. Take for example this week's "Best Show Of The Week" - none other than Grease: You're The One That I Want! According to the PTC the show is "clean, fun entertainment for the whole family." That's not what I called it. Among other things I wrote "I just can't see this having anything but abysmal ratings and as far as I'm concerned that's no less than it deserves." The PTC does not have similar fears. They say "While it may not become the juggernaut that is American Idol, it appeals to audiences of all ages and celebrates some of the best of American culture." I fear for American culture of Grease is the best of it just as I fear for anyone who ignores the lack of quality represented by Grease: You're The One That I Want! in the name of supposedly family friendly programming.

Who does the PTC hate this week?: As usual they hate Las Vegas, which is a fun guilty pleasure show of mine. This time it was the fact that the show supposedly "featured" a sex toy called the "Frisky Ferret" - presumably a vibrator, since I don't recall it ever actually being shown just mentioned - and because the episode in question featured naked older women. According to the PTC "The women are shown on several occasions topless, barely covering themselves with magazines or fruit." This is of course a common practice in movies and TV shows to imply nudity without showing nudity. But of course to the PTC implying nudity or any sort of sexuality (or indeed, as in the case of Studio 60, the possibility that people might possibly have sex even if there's no indication that the show is going in that direction) is evil evil evil.

But of course that's not all the PTC currently has a hate on for. There's the Fox Network. It seems that during the Philadelphia-New Orleans football game a couple of weeks ago a Fox Sports camera man lingered on a young woman wearing a shirt that said "F*ck da Eagles" with the * being exactly the letter U thought it was. By lingered I mean spent all of three seconds on her (based on a YouTube clip of the incident) of which the offensive word was visible for a total of about one second. Most of the rest of the three second shot she was jumping up and down. To the PTC this translated into "The shot stayed focused on the woman and her shirt for several seconds. There can be no doubt that this was an intentional airing of patently offensive language on the public airwaves." For their part Fox apologized for the incident, which it described as unintentional and inadvertent. The apology was publicized three days after the game aired. This wasn't good enough for the PTC who in a later press release claimed that the Fox apology was hypocritical: "How can families take the Fox apology seriously when (1) they are suing in Federal Court demanding the ‘right’ to air the F-word when children are in the audience, (2) they could have taken simple steps to ensure such material does not air but they refuse to do so.” This is in reference to an appeal by Fox against an FCC fine being heard before the Second Circuit Court in New York. In the case in question Fox was fined after Bono used the same word the woman had on her shirt during a live awards ceremony. It seems to me that the PTC wants everything their way - they get the right to decide what is and isn't acceptable on the "public" airwaves through the medium of computer generated protest letters, but anyone else - in particular the TV networks and the industry as a whole - attempting to avail themselves of their constitutional right of appeal is evil, and that anything being said by them should be dismissed as hypocrisy.

Charles Lane Is 102 Years Young

There are certain traditions that I like to observe in this blog and I nearly forgot one this year, in part because for the last time I am dog sitting for my brother at his place. But really, how could I forget to remember Charles Lane's birthday. The man, who by some accounts is America's (or at least Hollywood's) oldest living actor) is 102 years young today. Why Ernest Borgnine, who turned 90 this week, is a mere infant by comparison. So is Paul Newman (82) who shares his birthday.

While Charles Lane is old enough to have been in silent movies, his first screen credit actually dates to 1933 in something called Blondie Johnson, although he had uncredited work for a couple of years before that. Charles Lane's film career is probably best known for his collaboration with Frank Capra. Lane appeared in nine Capra films: Broadway Bill (1934), Mr. Deeds Goes To Town (1936), You Can't Take It With You (1938), Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (1939), Arsenic & Old Lace (1944), It's A Wonderful Life (1946), Riding High (1950), and Here Comes The Groom (1951). What's probably less well known is just how far back his relationship with Lucille Ball went back. They first movie they are both credited with appearing was a 1933 Wallace Beery-George Raft film called The Bowery - neither was credited and they probably never met during the filming. They appeared in six other films together before working in television on I Love Lucy and The Lucy Show.

Aftre 1953 the vast majority of Charles Lane's roles were in television where he usually played a crusty curmudgeon, or just a mean old man at odds with the lead players. Nowhere is this more true than in what is arguably his most famous TV role, Petticoat Junction's Homer Bedloe - a man who would make Mr. Potter in It's A Wonderful Life seem like an old softie - the cost cutting railway man who made it his personal mission to eliminate the Hooteville Cannonball and the Shady Rest Hotel from the face of the earth despite orders from his boss Norman Curtis. Of course he was always bested by Kate Bradley (or Aunt Helen or Dr. Janet Craig), but like Wile E. Coyote you always knew he'd be back with another devious scheme. Although at one point Homer got frustrated and went to work for Milburn Drysdale at the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills where he ran into Jed Clampett. (In the photo above he's seen with the Bea Benaderet, Linda Kaye Henning, and what looks to be the original Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo, Jeannine Riley and Pat Woodell.)

Charles Lane is one of the few remaining survivors of the San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, one of thefounding members of the founding members of the Screen Actors Guild, and one of the founders of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. Happy Birthday, Mr. Lane!

Because It's The Right Thing To Do

We interrupt the current stream of nothing much to remind you of the bestest holiday of all.

Because you know it's what naked Lucy would do.

Poll Update - I Screwed Up

If you voted in the current poll before 1 a.m. on Tuesday January 23, please vote again based on the question that is posted.

Apparently I forgot to change the poll question, thereby causing some possible confusion among readers as to what I wanted. In fact there was a question about that in the comments -Savannah expressed some confusion and I'm sure others did as well - so what I've done is reset the stats back to zero and done a couple of other things that will hopeful allow people who have voted to cast votes again. This should allow one vote per person for the entire week, I hope. One of the reasons why I'm looking for a different polling service is that the one I'm using makes some things I want to do difficult to carry out.

In the post that announced the poll I said there was something fishy about the results of the "which show should have been cancelled" poll that seemed a little fishy. In a nut shell here it is, and I hope no one takes offense. No poll that I have run in this blog has ever attracted more than maybe 25 voters - most attracted far fewer - and this one attracted 47 or 48. While the difference may be perfectly innocent, there was enough of a seed of doubt planted that I decided to err on the side of caution. I hope this explanation is acceptable - I certainly meant no offense to anyone.

New Poll - Which of these series is the best new show so far this season?

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to set this poll up the way I wanted it but also in a way that would satisfy some of the people who are reading the blog. My original intention was to list just the shows that managed to make it to the beginning fo January without being cancelled. But of course there were some shows that the public didn't warm to that were superior to some of the shows that made it this far. And yet I didn't want to add all of the cancelled shows. So what I've decided is to add the two shows that I missed in the "shows that should have been cancelled" poll, plus the top vote getter in the "shows that shouldn't have been cancelled" poll, plus a certain show which had people demanding a revote, and drop 1 vs. 100. Also, because of some of the things that happened in the previous poll I will be activating "cookie checking" function which will prevent multiple votes from a single user. It's not that I don't trust the people who voted but given the history of previous polls here this result seemed somewhat fishy. And then I think I might go looking for a different polling service.

Please feel free to comment on this poll.

A Review Of Poll Comments

I knew 'Big Day' was basically going to be allowed to wrap things up, although probably sooner than they expected. And among most of the shows that I don't watch on that list, I had nothing really against them to merit giving them the thumb's down.

But there were two,for the most part equally balanced - 'Til Death' and '1 vs 100'.

However, I'll always go with a scripted show (no matter how bad) over a game show. So the Saget show goes. - Tele-Toby

I understand the sentiment, although I have reservations because it strikes at one of my favourite of any type (you know it - The Amazing Race) which when it comes down to it is a game show.

Well....I have seen at least one or two episodes of most of these shows....except for basically anything on ABC at this point.

Wow ABC is terrible.....I have minutes worth of most of their recent shows if that.....They got really lucky with Lost because the rest of their programming is trash....and NBC seems to be following.

Fox and CBS are really starting to take over with prime time shows I'd say.

So anyway....I went with 30 Rock. The only real bright spot to that show is that Alec Baldwin(though I can not stand the man himself) is truly AMAZING. He has gotten better and better over the years as a comedic actor and he is just hysterical in everything he has been a part of recently. Why Tracy Morgan is still on TV at all is beyond me.....He should only appear on such shows as the Surreal Life or Armed and Famous because he is just completely unintelligent and unfunny. The fact that NBC axes a show like Kidnapped and yet 30 Rock is still on T.V. is pretty sad. - William

I'll probably disagree with you to a degree on NBC. Several of there shows are among my favourites, while I think that FOX made an absolute hash of their new line up, a problem which was compounded by the need to accommodate the Baseball playoffs. From the episodes I've seen of 30 Rock I can't say that I'm a huge Tracy Morgan fan but my problem its the actor or the way the character is written.

Thanks for putting this up and sorry that I missed your last poll (I would have totally voted for Kidnapped)! Wow, most of the shows on here deserve to be cancelled, I just don't see many that are really that worthy of television (especially since Kidnapped was cancelled)...so I voted for Heroes because it is being told that it is the best new show and everything like that, and I watch Heroes, but it lost all of the respect that I had towards it when NBC just started caring about that show instead of all their other shows (especially Kidnapped)...so I had to vote for Heroes!! - KMcMurray

Hazard of the business I'm afraid. Kidnapped wasn't cancelled due to a lack of quality but rather a lack of viewers. I put the blame for this squarely on NBC's programming chief Kevin Reilly for making a massive shift in the schedule in late May after ABC announced their schedule. I am convinced that if Kidnapped had debuted on Tuesday night opposite Boston Legal and Smith it would still be around, or at least would have been allowed to show 13 episodes.

I vote Heroes to go down! I watch the first 3-episodes and forced myself to sit through them; for me, so childish!
Now give me Kidnapped as a rerun or as a revived second series, then you've got me hooked all over again! Kidnapped Rocks!!!

It's not going to happen. The best that anyone can hope for is that NBC and the production company will release the show as it exists on DVD. Considering some of the lesser material that gets released these days it is not beyond the realm of possibility.

Poll Results - What new series that is currently running should have been cancelled already?

Wow!

I really wasn't expecting this. In no way shape or form was I expecting this. Not the turn out - which is the highest any poll that I've run on this blog has generated - nor the result, which I frankly find shocking. I think the turn out, and maybe the result were more than a little bit influenced by the sudden influx of Kidnapped fans who showed up last week demanding a revote. The problem with this sort of poll is that it's entirely unscientific. The people who - for whatever reason - find it and are motivated are the ones who set the result. It was also somewhat flawed because I accidentally omitted two series The Class on CBS and The Game on The CW.

Anyway, down to the results. There were 47 votes cast. In a tie for eleventh place with no votes were Big Day, Jericho and Brothers and Sisters. In a tie for seventh place, with one vote (2%) each were Men In Trees, Shark, Ugly Betty, and Standoff. Alone in sixth place with three votes (6%) is 'Til Death. Tied for fourth place with four votes each are 30 Rock, and Friday Night Lights. In third place with five votes (10%) is Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. In second place with six votes (12%) is 1 vs. 100. But the big vote getter, with an amazing twenty-one votes (44%) is NBC's Heroes.

I'll have a post in which I try to glean some wisdom from this result posted soon, probably in the morning but right now I'm going to take some time to spout off a bit. In my opinion - and it is only my opinion - there is no way that Heroes should have been cancelled before many of the other shows on this list. If I had cast a vote I would probably have either voted for 'Til Death or Standoff. 'Til Death struck me from the first as a show with a pair of good leads in Joely Fisher and Brad Garrett that wasted them on a poor premise. As for Standoff, it struck me that in a season which produced some outstanding series television - some of it cancelled - this was a show that wallows in and indeed celebrates mediocrity. Although I like 1 vs. 100 personally (when the Detroit NBC station lets me see it instead of Detroit Pistons basketball) I can understand the antagonism towards it as a game show - if you don't like game shows in prime time this was the only option to vote for. As for Studio 60, it seems to be a very polarizing show. People either love it or they loathe it. Count me among the "love it" group and look forward to seeing it on Sunday night (here in Canada), but as I said, I can understand the opposing viewpoint.

Ah but in my wildest dreams I did not expect Heroes to be listed as the show that a plurality in the poll would think should have been cancelled already. I respect the opinion but I don't agree with it. I've only recently managed to catch up on viewing the episodes and I don't understand the animosity. In my opinion it isn't the best new show on TV no matter what the ratings say, but I enjoy the premise and I really like several of the characters, in particular Hiro Nakamura. As I think I've pointed out here there are several shows that debuted this season that are worse than Heroes and I suspect that there will be several shows that debut between now and the end of may that will be worse. Oh and by the way, NBC announced at the TV Critics Association press tour that Heroes has not only been renewed for the 2007-08 season, it has been given a full season order, along with My Name Is Earl, The Office, and Law Order: SVU. It ani't going anywhere.

New poll up sometime in the next 48 hours. I have some things to do and while I know the topic I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to include.

Amazing Race All-Stars - The Teams

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you'll know that I like some "reality-competition" shows, like Survivor and Big Brother but I am absolutely in love with only one: The Amazing Race. How much do I love The Amazing Race? Well not only did I buy both DVD box sets that they have released so far, I also bought a book about the show called My Ox Is Broken by Adam-Troy Castro. In the book Castro writes about his loathing of reality shows in general: "I loathe the concocted situations, vapid contestants, and sniggering sexuality of the many series that hinge on speed dating, cruel pranks, staged conflicts, and the ubiquitous hunger for fifteen minutes of fame." But The Amazing Race "makes me a panting, unreserved fanboy." For one thing he loves the set. For another, he says: "It boasts the virtues that so many of its reality-show competitors lack: humanity, a broad canvas relevant to the world we live in, a premise that celebrates human diversity, and a structure that measures the character of its contestants in ways that go beyond willingness to embarass themselves for fame and glory. It helps, too, that its contestants have shown as much warmth, humor, and nobility as the far more typical fame-whore brattiness."

Late last year CBS and the producers of The Amazing Race announced that the eleventh season of the show would be an All-Star edition with teams who had competed in earlier editions of the show. As seems to be the case in reality shows, being an "all-star" in The Amazing Race doesn't necessarily mean that you were the winner or in the top two or three in a given season. It was more a case of who was popular - or was perceived as popular by CBS and the producers - with the fans, and of course who was available and willing to do the show. The following is the breakdown of teams based on finishes in their seasons:

• First place - 1 team
• Second place - 2 1/2 teams
• Third place - 1 team
• Fourth place - 3 team
• Fifth place - 1 team
• Sixth place - 2 team
• Seventh place - 1/2 team

There are teams from every season except seasons 4, 6, and 8 (the Family Edition which had four member teams). Here are the teams selected (links are to pre-race interviews on CBS's InnerTube site. There's some interesting stuff in the interviews): Kevin O'Connor & Drew Feinberg - Season 1, fourth place: "Swing you fat bastard." That was the line that had me cheering for these guys from the moment it was uttered. Sure they fought among themselves and fought with at least one other team but the Original Frat Brothers were fun and enjoyed themselves while they were doing the race.
View Meet Kevin & Drew on innertube now

Bill Bartek & Joe Baldassare - Season 1, third place: The came up with their own name - Team Guido after their dog - although the other teams called them Bert & Ernie. They were a tough team, at times downright underhanded and they came to be regarded as the "heels" of their season after the tried to tie up some of the other teams in a line-up for a plane. The first gay couple on the series (with a relationship that has lasted longer than a lot of heterosexual marriages) but most assuredly not the last.
View Meet Joe & Bill on innertube now

Danny Jimenez & Oswald Mendez - Season 2, fourth place: Gay friends (but not a couple) who I guess live up to a lot of the stereotypes. They quickly became known as Team Cha Cha Cha, and they were absolutely fabulous. In a famous moment in Hong Kong they literally stopped racing to go shopping. Not only that, but they finished that leg in first place, largely because while they were shopping a high end travel agent was arranging their fight to the next destination - a flight that the other teams who were making their own arrangements knew nothing about.
View Meet Oswald & Danny on innertube now

John Vito Pietanza & Jill Aquilino - Season 3, fifth place: The team with the story. Jill had originally applied to be on the show with her brother F.T. who was John Vito's best friend. F.T. died in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. John Vito Jill became romantically involved after his death, although they are no longer together. Nothing particularly memorable about them besides that.
View Meet John & Jill on innertube now

Teri Pollack & Ian Pollack - Season 3, second place: I quickly became a fan of theirs after an incident in Spain where Teri accidentally put gasoline in their diesel powered vehicle. Several other teams did the same thing but only Ian reacted in a no nonsense way - he syphoned out the gas while Teri went to get diesel. Some hated him for being environmentally insensitive, in addition to constantly bossing his wife around, but to me this showed more than a little resourcefulness. The oldest team ever to finish second.
View Meet Teri & Ian on innertube now

Charla Faddoul & Mirna Hindoyan - Season 5, sixth place: Liked Charla, not entirely crazy about Mirna. Charla wasn't about to let dwarfism stop her from doing most of the tasks placed before her although she also wasn't above using her size to get people to do things for her. Mirna, on the other hand seemed to be a lightning rod when it came to antagonizing other racers. Famously, she tried to get a ticket agent for an airline not to sell tickets on a flight to some of the other racers by telling him, in Arabic, that they were "bad people" and violent.
View Meet Charla & Mirna on innertube now

Rob Mariano & Amber Brkich - Season 7, second place: Romber. One of the greatest teams in Amazing Race history. Sure they were gimmick casting but they brought a whole new tactical outlook to game. They weren't above bribing a bus driver using other people's money, persuading other teams not to do a roadblock or (and this is the only one I fault them on) driving past a car crash. Interesting to note that they no longer list themselves by their former occupations. Rather they describe themselves as "TV personalities."
View Meet Rob & Amber on innertube now

Uchenna Agu & Joyce Agu - Season 7, Winners!: The only All-Star team to have actually won a season of The Race. Their battle with the Romber juggernaut was one of the great confrontations in the history of the show although it never became personal as it did with some of the teams in their season. The Force was strong in this couple (okay, so Joyce actually appeared in a several episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, usually in a non-speaking role). They won based on persuading a pilot to reopen the doors of his plane for them, but the real decisive moment came in India during a Fast Forward where Joyce allowed her head to be shaved.
View Meet Uchenna & Joyce on innertube now

Eric Sanchez & Danielle Turner - Season 9, special case: Eric competed in The Race with his best friend Jeremy and finished second behind B.J. Tyler, while Danielle competed with her best friend Dani and finished seventh. But now they're a couple (what is she thinking?!). As such, while they've competed in The Race they haven't competed as a team before. They're the 1/2s on my list.
View Meet Eric & Danielle on innertube now

David Conley & Mary Conley - Season 10, sixth place: I loved the way that they - and in particularly Mary, who had never even been on a plane before The Race - embraced the whole experience of meeting new people and seeing the world. They were public favourites, not to mention Rosie O'Donnell's favourites. That said I don't think that they should be on The Amazing Race: All-Stars. Of course I don't think any Season 10 teams should be on the show with the possible exception of the winners of the season, Tyler & James - it's too soon.
View Meet David & Mary on innertube now

Dustin Seltzer & Kandice Pelletier - Season 10, fourth place: Maybe the strongest all woman team despite the fact that Lyn Karlyn were the first female team to make it to the final episode. They were tough and could compete with the best of them, but were also sneaky and conniving, and managed to alienate most of the other people in The Race by the end. But what I said about David Mary holds true for Dustin Kandice - it's too soon.
View Meet Dustin & Kandice on innertube now

The Amazing Race: All Stars debuts February 18.

I Know I Make Typos -

But I hope that none are as egregious as this one in the dead trees version of the local rag, the Saskatoon StarPhoenix. In a story about the New Orleans Saints defeat of the Philadelphia Eagles, the copy was supposed to read (as nearly as I can figure) "With victory secured for the Saints (11-6) on McAllister's powerful kick, team owner Tom Benson did his 'Benson Boogie' on the field." What was on the printed page was, "With victory secured for the Saints (11-6) on McAllister's powerfu ck, team owner Tom Benson did his 'Benson Boogie' on the field."

Knowing the local paper as well as I do, no one will be fired or reprimanded, but people will notice.

New Poll - What new series that is currently running should have been cancelled already?

Sorry for not getting this up sooner but I've had this sort of allergy thing going on and I was sort of out of it most of Saturday.

I mentioned the previous post that "turn about is fair play." The poll question this time around is "What new series that is currently running should have been cancelled already?" For the purpose of this poll, we're only going to consider shows that debuted before December 31, 2006 - basically that only eliminates Knights of Prosperity, Grease: You're The One That I Want and In Case Of Emergency from the list.

I really do want to see comments on this, in the same way that I wanted to see comments about the cancelled shows. If you think a show should have been cancelled, why do you think it should have been cancelled.

Poll Results - Which cancelled new show should still be on the air?

First a little weather update - it's now cold around here, which would have made it difficult for me to finish digging out, but my neighbour (who has a snow blower - I hate the basted things) was kind enough to do the part of my sidewalks that I was too exhausted to finish on Thursday. He didn't even ask if I needed help, he just did it.

As far as the poll goes, there were nine votes cast and they were pretty well spread around. In a tie for last place with no votes were Smith, The Nine, Twenty Good Years, 3 Lbs, Day Break and Kidnapped. In a tie for second place, with 1 vote each (11%) were Vanished, Runaway, Help Me, Help You, Six Degrees, Happy Hour and Show Me The Money. In first place, with three votes (33%) was Justice.

I confess to being more than a little bit surprised by the results. Before I started this poll I had a couple of comments from a couple of Kidnapped fans who were trying to get NBC and Sony pictures for a DVD release of the series - which I agree with entirely - and for the show to be put into contention for the 2007 Emmys, which I don't think it has the votes for. It was a great show and if I had voted in my own poll I would have voted for it. Consequently I was more than a little surprised when the show didn't get a single vote in a poll about which cancelled show should still be on the air. I found it particularly surprising when the other "kidnapping" show, Vanished got a vote. After all, most critics - the real ones, the guys who get paid for this - regarded Kidnapped as being far superior to Vanished. And I thought that shows like Six Degrees, Happy Hour and Show Me The Money getting votes was sort of bizarre. Not that these shows were totally without merit - well I can't speak for Six Degrees; I never saw it - but the two I did see tended to have more wrong than right about them. The poll "winner" was a choice I could live with as well. Justice may not have been the best show on TV or the best new show but along with Kidnapped I do feel that it was a show that deserved better treatment from FOX than it got If either of those shows had been on a cable channel like HBO, Showtime or FX they might have been a lot grittier but they would also still be on the air.

I had planned to do a separate post on comments about the poll but I only got one, from Clint Johnson so I'll respond here and maybe get some thoughts from others as a result: I caught all the pilots but didn't watch more than two episodes of any one of the shows on the list. It is very unusual to get this far into a season without the networks canceling a show that I really like. I'm getting nervous. This probably means that Tim Minear's 'The Drive' is going to be f'king brilliant and canceled within six episodes. It's entirely possible, in fact likely, given Minear's track record with FOX - Wonderfalls, The Inside and of course Firefly. There are lots of reasons why shows get cancelled. If it just came down to eyeballs then NBC's new show line-up would almost entirely be on the dust heap. Only Heroes is anything approaching a hit and while moving 30 Rock to Thursday has helped somewhat, the same can't be said for moving Friday Night Lights to Wednesday ratings aren't great and next week it goes up against American Idol. If it were only rating numbers the story of the Dennison Panthers would have been sent to the locker room and another episode of Deal Or No Deal or something similar put in its place as a sacrificial lamb.

New poll will probably be up in the afternoon. All I can say about this one is turnabout is fair play.

Snow Day!

If you looked over at Tim's blog or watched the news here in Canada, you'll know that most of Western Canada got hit by a massive blizzard and right at the center - Saskatoon. We got hit hard, although thankfully no power outages. How hard a hit? Well let's put it this way, the last time the schools didn't open because of snow was probably a few years after the picture on my profile was taken - but not many. In other words somewhere in the region of 40 to 45 years. If this were Toronto the mayor would be hounding Ottawa to send in the army - or at least what's not in Afghanistan and maybe even the part that is in Afghanistan. We usually shake our heads sadly when we hear that sort of stuff then go back to shovelling.

There are lots of stories from the Blizzard of 2007. There were people forced to spend the night at the airport because their flights were cancelled but they couldn't get back to town. There are stories of truckers, most of whom stopped at the area truck stops, but a few of whom were independent enough (read as either incredible idiots or close to losing their rigs if they didn't get this load through right now) who weren't overly worried about the fact that the RCMP was strongly recommending that people didn't travel. In fact they closed most of the highways in the Saskatoon area. Then there were the hundred or so people who for whatever misguided reason just had to get out to Costco and ended up spending the night there. I suppose they had it better than the folks at the airport. At least at Costco there are plasma TVs and a supply of movies.

Sadly there were deaths - at least three - including a couple of people near Onion Lake who were foolish enough to leave their car and try to make it to a house or something. Rule #1 for winter survival: Don't leave the damned car! Being in a car gives you shelter and if you have gas you can stay warm. A good survival kit for the car includes (but isn't limited to) a blanket and candles - candles can be used for heat as well as light.

I wish I had a good blizzard story but the closest I can come is looking out the window a few times and not being able to see the house across the street. You weren't going to pry me out of my nice warm house into that. Oddly enough my TV viewing suffered - I forgot all about the late feeds of Friday Night Lights, Knights Of Prosperity, and In Case Of Emergency. I planned on writing about at least one of those two today. I also forgot to watch my tape of Little Mosque On The Prairie, but I hope to remedy that situation soon. Meanwhile I have snow to shovel, but assuming I can avoid a heart attack (shovelling snow is high on the list of immediate causes of coronaries among Canadian men my age) I'll check back with you later.

Grease: Punishment For My Sins

The condemned man ate a hearty meal - chicken stir-fry in a rather anonymous sauce which I cooked in my wok.

I knew I was in for an ordeal, but I decided that I wasn't going to blow off Grease: You're The One That I Want as a self-imposed punishment for not getting my review of Knights of Prosperity completed in a timely manner. Having seen this new NBC reality series I am forced to consider the punishment cruel and unusual.

The premise for Grease: You're The One That I Want is to find two unknown lead actors for a new Broadway production of the musical Grease! and doing it through a a televised open casting call. After the open casting call, fifty hopefuls will attend "Grease! camp" - I swear I'm not making that name up - to be whittled down to twelve people who will be in the running for the two lead roles. Presumably that will be six "Dannys" and six "Sandys." The public will select who the actors who will have to carry the play will be. As usual with shows of this type there are a trio of judges including the inevitable acerbic Brit (David Ian; he mortgaged his house to produce a London production of Grease in the 1990s), a woman (Kathleen Marshall; a Tony Award winning choreographer and director), and the genial American (Jim Jacobs, who only wrote the book for the musical). Hosting the show are Billy Bush from the entertainment "news" show Access Hollywood and British musical star and morning show presenter Denise van Outen. In the first episode at least Olivia Newton John, who played Sandy in the movie Grease! provided some insights.

Grease: You're The One That I Want is essentially an American Idol clone. More accurately it is a clone of a British clone of the British series Pop Idol. The British series was called How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, and was offering open casting calls for the part of Maria for a London revival of The Sound Of Music. While this gives a certain legitimacy to Grease: You're The One That I Want the fact remains that both shows follow the tried and true "Idol" format with auditions followed by viewer selection of a winner.

At this point I should confess that I only watched the first hour of the hour and a half premiere, not entirely due to boredom with the format combined with fatigue. I saw the complete Los Angeles auditions so there really wasn't much in the Chicago auditions that would have been much different. But then again except for adding a dance segment to the audition process - necessary if you're casting a musical - there really isn't much difference between this show and American Idol, or this show and So You Think You Can Dance, or even this show and America's Got Talent. There's the usual run of people who can sing, those who hideously can't sing, and those who aren't quite good enough. I suppose that there's an extra element here in that the role of Sandy in particular requires a certain quality. Thanks in no small part to Olivia Newton John in the movie, the tendency is to see Sandy as a petite blonde girl - Sandra Dee as seen in the movies of the late 1950s if not the Sandra Dee of real life. Despite this there were a number of African-American actresses who tried out for the part as well as a couple of women who were somewhat overweight. One of them, a young woman named Sunshine (she insisted that this was her real name) was an excellent singer and quite good on the dance side but she wasn't among those called to "Grease camp." I suppose I have a problem with this because it seems unfair to build up her hopes even a little and then make the decision that the judges knew they were going to have to make in the first place.

I'm not sure what NBC's collective corporate thinking was in debuting this show now. Maybe it's an extension of Jeff Zucker's promise not to program scripted shows in the first hour of prime time. This show should be a summer series rather than one that appears in January on one of the most competitive nights of the week. I really don't think it's good enough for this sort of exposure, and it doesn't have a gimmick to make it stand out and separate it from the show that it will inevitably be compared to, American Idol. America's Got Talent was a show that had a gimmick that distinguished itself - two in fact. First of course was the fact that the show wasn't just searching for singers, a fact which Piers Morgan railed about in one of the semi-final shows. The other thing was that the show had an amazingly disfunctional panel of judges who didn't take themselves that seriously most of the time. Grease: You're The One That I Want doesn't have that going for it. It isn't even going to serve as a good lead for The Apprentice: LA because it will hemorrhage viewers that Trump's show isn't strong enough to recover. I can only imagine that the people over at CBS are kicking themselves for not having The Amazing Race: All Stars ready to go right now because I have a suspicion that by the time the CBS show does get on the air Grease: You're The One That I Want will be little more than a memory. People would rather see the "original" American Idol rather than this knockoff. Well I'd rather not see either show, but I just can't see this having anything but abysmal ratings and as far as I'm concerned that's no less than it deserves.

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas...

My true love (TV) gave to me - Twelve Fearless Predictions.

I'm not Carnac the Magnificent, the all-seeing all-knowing seer, sage, and soothsayer, but I have been known to make a few predictions in my day. On rare occasions they've even been right. The trick, I have found is to be as vague as possible so that when something happens it can be made to fit the predictions. Hey, it's been working for Nostradamus for over 500 years, and if it was good enough for him it's good enough for me. So now I will gaze into the crystal and get on with the predictions.

1. I predict that in February the Academy Awards will fit comfortably into the timeslot that ABC has allocated for the show. Despite this people will complain that the show ran too long and wonder out loud why the awards are being broadcast at all.
2. Also in February I predict that the Super Bowl will run far outside of the time slot that CBS will allocate for it, to the point where most of the episode of Criminal Minds that the network is planning to run following the game will run outside of prime time in most of the United States. Despite this only half the people in the United States will complain about the game being too long and they weren't watching it anyway. No one will wonder out loud why the game is being broadcast at all.
3. I predict that virtually every TV show that debuts between the beginning of January and the beginning of May will be canceled or put on indefinite hiatus by the networks, although none will be canceled after one episode like The Rich List. After two episodes I won't guarantee.
4. I predict that The O.C. will be canceled. Oh wait, that's already happened. Okay, I predict that it won’t be the only old favourite that will be gone be the end of this season. Besides King Of Queens Seventh Heaven, and Gilmore Girls.
5. I predict that Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich will continue to live their lives on reality TV. Besides being all but confirmed as being part of the cast of The Amazing Race: All Stars - and let’s face it, love’em or hate’em they deserve it – they already have a show about Rob wanting to be a professional poker player ready to debut on Fox Reality. I expect them to document a pregnancy and/or a divorce proceeding in the future. Don’t be surprised if they win The Amazing Race: All Stars either.
6. Donald Trump will continue feuding with Rosie O’Donnell long after Rosie loses interest in him. Meanwhile, despite the change of day to Sunday, The Apprentice will continue to decline in the ratings. If anything the move to Los Angeles will hurt the show. Admit it, when you think Donald Trump you think overdone, kitschy opulence, but you think overdone ktschy opulence in New York City.
7. I predict that the biggest housecleaning at the Upfronts in May will occur at The CW, with new series being created to try to create an identity of its own for the network rather than that of the two parent webs as well as build ratings. It will succeed in the first, not so much in the second.
8. I predict that the Emmy nominations in June will, quite predictably please no one and lead to yet more calls for reform of the nomination procedure even though no one can agree on what form a revised nomination procedure will take. Expect the greatest hue and cry from the fans of Battlestar Galactica (and science fiction in general), Heroes, viewers of Showtime and FX and anyone who likes any show on The CW. HBO executives on the other hand will be impossible to live with.
9. I predict that the summer reality shows will continue apace, with Ramsay yelling, Big Brother contestants “showmancing”, Piers Morgan grumbling about contestants on America’s Got Talent, Dave Navarro lording it over the people on whatever band they’re creating for Rock Star. There will be a number of new concepts which will in fact be knock-offs of previous concepts. No one will pay any attention to any of it unless it rains for days on end, which given the weather we’ve been having in the past couple of years is not out of the question. As usual there will be one bona fide new hit among the summer drek.
10. I predict that The Amazing Race will win Outstanding Reality-Competition series at the Emmy’s because it always does. The Emmy voters can separate the wheat from the chaff and they like the set. Either that or they just can’t bear to watch any reality show except The Amazing Race.. In other Emmy news, fans of Deadwood will be disappointed when no one from their show gets an Emmy including Ian McShane and Gerald McRainey. There will be more than one winner that will have viewers screaming “what the hell were they thinking!”. And of course, even though the show finishes well within the time allocated for it by whichever network is broadcasting it this year, people will complain that the show ran too long and wonder out loud why the awards are being broadcast at all.
    
11. I predict that the PTC will continue to rail against just about everything on TV, and will continue to bombard the FCC with their pre-packaged complaints about obscenity and violence and anti-family programming and the devious ways of the evil (liberal) networks. FCC Chairman Kevin Martin will make sympathetic noises but won’t actually do anything because he knows that the possibility exists that he’ll be out on his ass if a Democrat wins the election in 2008.
12. I predict that the first series cancelled by one of the five major networks during the 2007-08 season will be a drama cancelled after three episodes. Life on earth continues despite this.

Bonus prediction: Against any sense of realistic business thinking, MyNetwork TV will still be in existence at the end of 2008.

The crystal is getting cloudy. Please wash it and refill it with better quality scotch this time.

New Poll - Which canceled new show should still be on the air?

This time around we're going to look at those shows that are gone and figure out which one was the "unkindest cut of all." In other words which show that has been canceled, or put on indefinite hiatus, should still be on the air giving us new episodes.

What I've included are series that were canceled or put onto hiatus between the beginning of the 2006-07 season and December 31, 2006. There is a "promise" that ABC will bring back Six Degrees sometime in January "with new episodes" and claims that The Nine will air its remaining episodes in March or April. As no definite date has been given (and might not be - these are promises from network executives after all!) they're put in with the canceled shows. While I've included Show Me The Money because it ran five episodes (and ABC ordered six more) before it was canceled, I didn't include The Rich List simply because one episode isn't enough to evaluate.

As usual, comments can be left here. In fact in this poll and the next two I really want to encourage you to comment about why you gave the answer you did. If there's enough comments I mash them together in a post next Saturday.