I'm prepping this a couple of hours before the Emmys actually start while I have the time. At 5:10 CST, Fox is "red carpeting" but I don't do the red carpet stuff. I have my integrity (I know but at least I want to believe I have some). The way this is going to work (I hope) is that I will update this post during commercial breaks, so let's just say that spelling isn't going to be my highest priority.
Just for the record, here are the winners that you, my readers selected during the polls that ran here during the past few weeks. If and when any of these shows or people win an Emmy I'll change the colour to red – if/when they lose I'll go to some other colour (right now I'm thinking yellow).
Supporting Actor Comedy – Neil Patrick Harris
Supporting Actress Comedy – Jenna Fischer
Supporting Actor Drama – Michael Emerson
Supporting Actress Drama – Sandra Oh
Actor Comedy – Alec Baldwin
Actress Comedy – Tina Fey
Actor Drama – Hugh Laurie
Actress Drama – Patricia Arquette
Reality Competition - Amazing Race
Comedy – The Office
Drama – Heroes
It's started. We got a satircial song about TV from Stuey and Brian Griffin - funny and probably on YouTube by now - when I finish this off I'll see if I can find it. The Ryan Seacrest shows up. He does some basic stuff about his hosting entertainment news shows (oxymoron) and red carpet duties. They're doing the show in the round - mistake; who do you talk to and who do you ignore? Ray Romano comes up to present Supporting Actor Comedy. Does three minutes of schtick that's still funnier than Seacrest. Winner Jeremy Piven. Next up Supporting actor Drama presented by Vanessa Williams, & America Fererra. They don't do schtick. Terry O'Quinn wins. Yea!
Tina Fey and Julia Louis Dreyfuss present Supporting Actress Comedy. Jaimie Pressly wins, and gets around to thanking her agent and lawyer! Poll now 0 for 3. Oscar Nominee Thomas Hayden Church wins for Supporting Actor Movie or Minisesries for something on AMC - Broken Trail. Didn't see it, probably most of you didn't either.
Ellen DeGeneres introduced a montage of "Topical One Liners" from late night talk shows which somehow morphed into a tribute to Tom Snyder, after which Eva Longoria and the (male) cast of Entourage presented the award for Supporting Actor in a Drama. It went to Katherine Heigl who had presented the Supporting Actor Miniseries award and the announcer pronounced her name wrong. The Entoruage guys got it right. Her mom said she didn't have a hop in hell of winning. Jennifer Love Hewitt, her breasts and Jon Cryer gave the Writing Variety Music or Comedy series to Late Night With Conan O'Brien.
There's a performance by Tony Bennett and Christina Aguilerra. Can I just say, loved him hated her? He made it seem so effortless while she pulled out vocal pyrotechnics. Alec Baldwin then presented the Director Variety Music or Comedy Program to the Director of Tony Bennett: An American Classic. Robert Duvall wins Actor in Miniseries or Movie for Broken Trail from Ally Larter and Kiefer Sutherland.
Queen Latifah does a tribute to the mini-series Roots after which several key members of the cast come out and present Outstanding Miniseries to Broken Trail. Its a sign of something that there are only three nominees in the category. Then Hayden Pannetiere and Neil Patrick Harris come out. Neil does a bit about her just turning 18 which is patriotic and sleazy! The Gay guy does sleazy. The announce the nominees for Guest Actor and Guest Actress in a Drama (presented at the Creatvie Awards along with best lighting) but only introduce Leslie Caron, winner for Guest Actress. She presents award for Director in a drama to Sopranos. David Chase also wins for writing for Sopranos. I`m falling behind.
I`m beginning to think that we`re in the group of categories no one cares about anymore.Steven Carrel presents the award for Variety Music or Comedy Series to The Daily Show and then gives the award for Variety Music or Comedy Special to Tony Bennett: An American Classic which was created by his son David Bennett. After Mark Harmon and Marcia Cross gives the award for Actress in a Miniseries or Movie to Judy Davis for The Starter Wife and Seacrest introduces the accountants, the Academy president announces the Governors Awards. Yawn.
Not much better in this segment. After Kyra Sedgwick, Glenn Close & Mary Louise Parker present Made For TV Movie to Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee, we get a tribute to The Sopranos introduced by Joe Montegna and done by the cast of Jersey Boys after which the very big Sopranos cast comes out, and I am left to ponder whether this whole business wouldn`t have been so much easier if I had a laptop instead of having to run to the bedroom every commercial.
I must be getting bored - I notice eye makeup - Katherine Morris`s made her look like a raccoon. There are three Movie and Miniseries categories announced - Lead Actress, Directing and Writing. Prime Suspect takes them all - Helen Mirren for Actress (announced by Sally Field and Patrick Dempsey), Philip Martin for Directing and Frank Deasy for Writing. In between Lewis Black rants about bugs telling us what`s coming up next or next week and about scrunched credits on shows - absolutely right!!!!
Lots of stuff in this one. Masi Oka tells us that the Emmys are honouring interactive TV and Tom from MySpace introduces the first honouree, CurrentTV. Al Gore Accepts but doesnèt announce for president. Next, Brad Garret gets to make jokes about what he can see looking down at Joelly Fisherès dress. She reacts like sheès really married to him - with sarcasm. The present the award for Individual Performance in a Variety or Music show - to Tony Bennett of course. Then Anthony Anderson (K-Ville) and Terry Hatcher introduce the winners for Guest Actor in a Comedy - Stanley Tucci (Monk) and Elaine Stritch (30 Rock). Elaine doesnèt work well with the prompter. They announce Directorof a Comedy, Richard Shepherd for Ugly Betty. Then Anderson and hatcher announce the winner for Writerr in a Comedy, Greg Daniels for The Office "Gay Witch Hunt."
Ran over on that last one. The next category was Reality Competition. Wayne Brady did what was apparently a funny bit based on his show Don't Forget The Lyrics in which Rainn Wilson and Kanye West competed to announce the winner Wilson "won" in the category "music of Kanye West." The winner of the Reality Competition Series was The Amazing Race...as usual.
Now things are getting into gear. Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert do a funny bit about the "green Emmys" and the environmental impact of awards shows before presenting the Emmy for Actor in a Comedy to Ricky Gervais. But since Ricky isn't there they give it to their good friend Steve Carell instead. next Hugh Laurie and Felicity Huffman come out to give the award for Oustandign Actress in a Drama to Sally Field. She ends her speach dedicating the award to Mothers and being agaisnt the war, which seems to prompt someone at FOX to cut her mike and shoot a picture of a globe. Then we get the Memoriam tribute which reminds us of just how many great people we've lost this year.
They're really pickng up the pace now, not much time for comedy bits. William Shatner gives the Emmy for Actress in a Comedy to America Ferrera of Ugly Betty. Then Jimmy Smits and Kate Walsh take a moment to not promote their new shows, (Cane and Private Practice) before giving the Actor in a Drama Emmy to James Spader?! He at least admits to being shocked: " I feel like I stole a pile of money from the Mob. And they're all sitting over there!"
They're really rushing now. Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammer give the Outstanding Comedy Award to 30 Rock - Tina Fey thanks "our dozens and dozens of viewers."
And the final award of the night, Outrstandind Drama Series, is presented by Oscar and Emmy Winner Helen Mirren. First she shows us then she tells us - The Sopranos and all I can say is "it's about bloody time. The producer or spokesperson or whoever he is has a funny take on Sally Field's speach - "If the world were run by gangsters...who knows, maybe it is."
Emmy afterthoughts: Bad night for the poll - 1 out of 11. If it were a major league ball player it wouldn't be in the minors it would be on the unemployment lines.
Were the producers being overly cautious when they "cut to the globe" and blanked out Ray Romano's joke and Sally Field's speach. I thought it might have been a production glitch the first time but the second time seemed deliberate.
Whose idea was it to do the show in the round? Doing an awards show in the round doesn't work on TV and it sure as hell doesn't work for the audience at the Shrine Auditorium, or at least the portion of the audience who only gets to see the backs of the award winners.
And while we're at it, can someone tell me why the Emmys come in extremely close to time but feel like like they've been going on for an eternity, while the Oscars run long but in a good year feel like the right size even when they're giving an award for costume design.
I'm sure I'll have more to say when I find out what others have been saying, but for now, McKee out!
Tiny little update: I was watching the FOX feeds of the Emmys because the show wsa delayed by an hour in Canada (!) and apparently what Sally Field said that was objectionable was "we'd stop this Goddamn war!" I have a suspicion that there would have been protests, mostly about taking the Lord's name in vain. Boring!