To thoroughly disgrace both Mister Smith my 10th Grade History teacher and local TV celebrity back in the days of Reach For The Top and my favourite French teacher Mrs. Hall (who undoubtedly knew we sometimes called her Madame Couloir – the almost literal French translation for Mrs. Hall), "Apres les Emmys, le deluge." This week the networks that aren't The CW and FOX (and don't need to jumpstart their seasons) will debut and premier nearly everything in their inventory. It's going to be a great/terrible week with five new series starting their march towards eventual cancellation (in a few days or a few years). I don't think I'll give summaries of much beyond the new stuff.
CBS has the season debuts of The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two And A Half Men, and CSI: Miami.
CBS also has the series premiere of Worst Week. I'm not huge on sitcoms (as I keep telling you) and this one doesn't look that great to me, as a guy meets his girlfriend's parents for the first time and everything goes wrong. And that's even before they tell them that they're engaged and pregnant. People who have seen it seem to like it. I've only seen what CBS has put on YouTube.
NBC has a Heroes clip show, followed by the two-hour season debut of Heroes. Hopefully better than what people who get the chance to watch Heroes tell me last season was.
ABC has the season premiere of Dancing With The Stars – a show my brother loathes to the point of calling it "Dancing With The Morons" (and that's when he's feeling charitable about it) so of course I'll be watching, but not in HD.
ABC also has the premiere of the fifth and final season of Boston Legal.
CBS has the season premieres of NCIS – the most popular show that no one will admit to watching – and Without A Trace in its new time slot in the third hour of Tuesday night.
Sandwiched between those two CBS also has the series debut of The Mentalist with Simon Baker. This is another of those quirky mysteries that CBS does so well (Numb3rs is another) about a man who used to claim to be a psychic but was really just using his keen powers of observation. Now he uses those powers of observation while working with the police.
NBC has the season premiere of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, starring Mariska Hargitay (who didn't win an Emmy last night!).
ABC has the series debut of Opportunity Knocks, their new game show where the game show – and its set - comes to your home rather than you going to it. Looks awful from the clips and even the description of the concept.
CBS starts their new Wednesday comedy block with the debut of the relocated New Adventures Of Old Christine.
CBS follows that with the series debut of Gary Unmarried, with Jay Mohr as a man who has to deal with getting back into the dating scene while also dealing with his teenaged kids and his snarky ex-wife and her new fiancé – their former shrink. People who have seen it aren't impressed.
CBS rounds up the night with the debuts of Criminal Minds and CSI: New York.
NBC has the series premiere of the revived Knight Rider with the "new and improved" KITT, the son of Michael Knight (who wasn't really Michael Knight because...; let's just say David Hasselhoff's character and be done with it) and the KITTcave. Can you say Bionic Woman? I knew you could.
NBC also has the season return of Lipstick Jungle a show that (I admit because I am secure in my masculinity) I sort of like.
CBS has the two hour season debut of Survivor: Gabon. In HD yet!
NBC has two new half hour episodes of My Name Is Earl for that show's season debut. That's followed by a one hour season debut episode of The Office, and the final season debut of ER. I think I would have traded a half-hour of My Name Is Earl for a half hour of my quadruple Emmy winner while people still remember the fact, but hey I'm not Ben Silverman.
ABC has the one-hour season premiere of Ugly Betty followed by the two-hour season premiere of Gray's Anatomy.
Everyone is showing this hot new show called Presidential Debate. Well except for the CW which is showing their last Friday Night Smackdown. Hmmm – maybe they're not so different after all.
The Columbia Broadcasting System (I got tired of typing CBS, NBC and ABC) will have the season debut of the six time Emmy winning Reality-Competition Series The Amazing Race (hurrah!). This will be followed by the season debut of Cold Case and the debut of The Unit in its new time slot.
The American Broadcasting Company has the season debut of Extreme Makeover Home Edition, followed by the season debut of Desperate Housewives (five years later than last season because the producers got a little impatient), and the season debut of Brother and Sisters.
The Fox Broadcasting Company has the season debuts of The Simpsons, King Of The Hill, Family Guy, and American Dad. The PTC will be outraged shortly thereafter.
The National Broadcasting Company has Football. It's not a season debut but I just thought I'd mention it to maintain the theme. The CW is just The CW.