NBC's Fall 2007

Here's what NBC has done with its schedule. Bear in mind that what you see here might bear little if any resemblance to what actually airs in September, and probably no resemblance to what's on in January 2008. Or even by the end of this May.

Cancelled:
Andy Barker PI, The Black Donnellys, Kidnapped, Crossing Jordan, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Megan Mullally Show, Thank God You're Here, 20 Good Years, Grease: You're the One That I Want, Identity, Raines, Real Wedding Crashers

Renewed:
30 Rock, Football Night in America, Sunday Night Football, Las Vegas, ER, Heroes, Law & Order: SVU, My Name Is Earl

Moved:
Law & Order, Medium, Scrubs, Friday Night Lights

New:
Lipstick Jungle, Bionic Woman, Chuck, Life, Journeyman

Also, no time has been listed for the next season of The Apprentice. Law & Order: Criminal Intent will air on USA with NBC retaining the right to air the show on the broadcast network. A third series, World Moves has been announced as a mid season replacement as has a new comedy, The IT Crowd. Finally Jerry Seinfeld will be presenting some "minisodes" inspired by his work on his new animated movie with Dreamworks Bee Movie which will be airing in the Fall.

Complete Schedule: (New shows in Capitals, all times Eastern)

Monday

8:00-9:00 p.m. Deal Or No Deal
9:00-10:00 p.m. Heroes/HEROES ORIGINS
10:00-11:00 p.m. JOURNEYMAN

Tuesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. Biggest Loser
9:00-10:00 p.m. CHUCK
10:00-11:00 p.m. Law & Order: SVU

Wednesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. Deal Or No Deal
9:00-10:00 p.m. BIONIC WOMAN
10:00-11:00 p.m. LIFE

Thursday
8:00-8:30 p.m. My Name Is Earl
8:30-9:00 p.m. The Office
9:00- 9:30 p.m. 30 Rock
9:30-10:00 p.m. Scrubs
10:00-11:00 p.m. ER

Friday
8:00-9:00 p.m. 1 vs. 100/THE SINGING BEE
9:00-10:00 p.m. Las Vegas
10:00-11:00 p.m. Friday Night Lights (Moved)

Saturday
8:00-9:00 p.m. Dateline NBC
9:00-11:00 p.m. Drama Series Encores

Sunday (Starting in January after the end of Football)
7:00-8:00 p.m. Dateline NBC
8:00-9:00 p.m. Law & Order (Moved)
9:00-10:00 p.m. Medium (Moved)
10:00-11:00 p.m. LIPSTICK JUNGLE

Heroes Origins is a six episode spin-off of Heroes which will apparently air in during the show's hiatus. The show will introduce a new Hero each week with a fan vote choosing one to become a series regular in the third season.

Journeyman is described as "romantic mystery drama series in which San Francisco journalist and family man Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd) starts inexplicably travelling through time changing people's lives. His disappearances in the present time cause problems for him at work and at home, particularly when he reconnects with his former girlfriend. Moon Bloodgood, Gretchen Egolf, Reed Diamond and Charles Henry Wyson also star.

Chuck is a "comedy spy thriller" about computer geek Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) who becomes the government's most important agent after an email subliminally downloads a server full of sensitive information into his head. Assigned to protect him is Major John Casey (Adam Baldwin) of the NSA while his partner – and first date in years – is top CIA agent Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strzechowski). Also stars Joshua Gomez and Sarah Lancaster.

The Bionic Woman is a remake of the classic show from the mid-1970's. Instead of being a star tennis player who becomes a teacher and secret agent after a skydiving accident with her astronaut boyfriend, in this version Jaime Summers (British actress Michelle Ryan) is a struggling bartender raising her younger sister on her own. She's severely injured in a car wreck. They can of course rebuild her, but it comes at a cost. Also stars Miguel Ferrer, Mae Whitman, Chris Bowers, Will Yun Lee, and Molly Price.

In Life detective Charlie Case (Damien Lewis) returns to the police force after having served time in prison for a crime he did not commit. Also stars Melissa Sagemiller as his lawyer, Sarah Shahi as his sceptical and demanding partner, Robin Weigart as his boss, and Adam Arkin as his former cell mate.

The Singing Bee is a "variety competition" show in which contestants have to accurately sing the lyrics to a popular songs, even when the band stops playing. According to the NBC press release "Family-friendly, broad in appeal and conducive to playing (and singing) along at home, The Singing Bee features popular, recognizable music that inspires hilarious wrong answers and amazing performances by those rare contestants who somehow manage to get every word right.

The Lipstick Jungle is a dramedy that features three driven career women – Kim Raver, Brooke Shields, and Lindsay Price – weathering the ups and downs of life "at the top of their game," balancing career and personal life (or in some cases not). Based on the novel by Candace Bushnell, but written by executive producers DeAnn Heline and Eileen Heisler.

The IT Crowd is an Americanized version of the hit British show about the guys in the basement who keep the office running by making sure the computers are operating despite the people using them. Roy (Joel McHale) and Moss (Richard Ayoade, from the British series) are the guys in the IT department whose social skills are just adequate to allow them to bond with each other but don't extend much beyond that. Denholm (Rocky Carroll) is the boss who wants to keep it that way.

World Moves comes from producer Randy Jackson (from American Idol). The NBC Press release explains it best: "Thousands of dance teams from around the world will audition for their shot to come to Los Angeles and compete for a global championship and an international touring contract. The live television event features young teams of five to seven members demonstrating their athleticism, creativity and innovative choreography in a presentation that highlights both the competition and the personal drama unfolding within each team. Viewers from across the globe will vote via the Internet, by text message, or by phone to eliminate one team each week. Ultimately, it's not just about winning a competition; World Moves involves stories that change lives and bring the world together."

Comments:
Heroes Origins seems like an innovative move for NBC. The move effectively gives Heroes a 30 week run, eliminating the difficult hiatus period which has been disastrous for a number of series that are regarded by the networks as not repeating well (see Lost, Jericho) as well as setting up potential characters for a future season.

Journeyman sounds like one of those ideas doomed to be low rated. Reminiscent in some ways of Quantum Leap mixed with a bit of Early Edition (and it probably won't get into the various implications of time travel on changing established events yada yada yada). It could become something of a cult hit but I don't see it drawing a big audience if it's up against CSI: Miami.

Since I'm in the rut of comparing things to stuff Chuck has touches of Scarecrow & Mrs. King (the accidental secret agent) and the Keannu Reeves movie Johnny Mnemonic (a guy downloads computer data into his brain), and maybe just a touch of Now and Again. It's always good to see Adam Baldwin who can be a very funny guy playing things straight. It is still a question of whether an audience will accept a concept like this. I'm betting it won't though it might work better an hour earlier.

No need to drag out comparisons for The Bionic Woman – it's an updated version of the '70s classic. This isn't necessarily a bad thing if the approach is (as it sounds) similar to the approach that was taken to the update of Battlestar Galactica, a harder edged approach to what was, in the end, pretty campy material. If CBS retains Criminal Minds in this time slot could face an uphill battle, particularly once Lost returns on ABC.

Life has an interesting concept, but hey I liked Blind Justice and to be honest this sounds sort of like that show with prison replacing blindness. Damian Lewis, who starred in Band of Brothers, is a solid and watchable actor, and the character seems to be surrounded by strong women. Could do well depending on what ABC puts in the time slot now that they've announced that Lost will be moving back to the second hour.

The Singing Bee. What can I say about this? Karaoke when power goes off? Dancing With the Stars with singers but no stars? The concept at least sounds better than Identity or even Deal or No Deal. I guess it could be a big hit or a big bomb. What it is proof of is NBC's decision (realistic or stupid – I come down on the side of stupid) to abandon the use of scripted programming in the first hour of their nightly schedule.

The Lipstick Jungle: Wow, a concept from Candace Bushnell based on high powered women living in New York City. Where have I heard that one before?

The IT Crowd has the potential to go a long way if the producers are wise enough to handle the show like The Office and go in their own direction from the British concept. If they slavishly try to replicate things exactly NBC could end up with another Coupling.

World Moves sounds exceptionally ambitious. I suppose a cynical outsider (like maybe me) would ask whether an American audience is ready to embrace a "reality competition" show where the talent is not only drawn from outside the United States but where they aren't the sole arbiters of who is the best and in fact may be outvoted by people who live outside the area bounded by the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, the 49^th Parallel and the Rio Grande. This show could be amazing or – in the United States at least – it could be a huge dud.

TV Moms III – The Hybrid Mom

Had some Internet problems last night so here's the last, and possibly the most interesting and realistic of the classes of TV Moms, the Hybrid Mom. The Hybrid Mom mixes all the great qualities of the Motherly Mom and some of the sexiness of the Hot Mom. The Hybrid Mom tends to be in her late thirties or early forties, has kids in their teens – possibly even one in college – but is still sexually attractive to her spouse (if she has one) and maybe other men. She definitely has "MILFy" qualities. More to the point she still enjoys sex with her husband although she is frequently worried enough about conception that she'll insist that her husband have a vasectomy which he inevitably does after considerable protest. Here then are some of TV's great Hybrid Moms.

Carol Brady – The Brady Bunch: Here's the story of a lovely lady with three kids of her own who married a man with three sons. And for the life of me I can't understand why there wasn't a seventh little Brady. We never know why Carol was unattached until she married Mike Brady – producer Sherwood Schwartz wanted her to be a divorcee but that was apparently nixed by ABC – and it was generally assumed that like Mike she was widowed. Carol goes from raising three girls to managing a blended family of three girls and three boys and after a first season (well really just a few episodes) that at times is rough handles it without a noticeable hitch. One thing that is absolutely clear is that by changing Florence Henderson's hairstyle she actually gets hotter looking as she gets older.

Shirley Partridge – Partridge Family: Shirley Partridge had five kids so you have to figure that before her husband shuffled off this mortal coil she had to have had a pretty active sex life. She was also a spectacularly great mom. I mean being a single mom is never an easy job but on TV at least none of the Partridge kids smoked, drank, did drugs or had behavioural problems (off screen there was Danny Bonaduce – 'nuff said). The biggest problem a Partridge kid had was when Laurie (Susan Dey) got braces just before the boy she really really liked (played by a pre-Star Wars Mark Hamill) was going to kiss her. And she did all that while the band was going on the road in that bus, usually driven by Shirley (at least until Keith got his license). Shirley dated occasionally, which with five kids at home in the early '70s was frankly amazing, but you always got the feeling that she was evaluating men based on her late husband and the guys she dated never really measured up.

Claire Huxtable – The Cosby Show: Also known as Superwoman and played by Phylicia Rashad. Let's look at Claire's qualifications for that title. She had five kids – Sondra, Denise, Theo, Vanessa, and Rudy – a step granddaughter (Olivia) that she had to raise after Denise and her naval officer husband Martin Kendall were posted overseas, two other grandchildren – Sondra's twins Nelson and Winnie. And in all this she not only managed to get a law degree, keep the house spotless without any sign of a maid or housekeeper, cook gourmet meals, and manage Heathcliff's diet – whether he likes it or not. Plus she could sing. Oh yeah, by the way, still gettin' it on! Superwoman indeed!

Jill Taylor – Home Improvement: Not quite the Superwoman that Claire Huxtable was, she still had some chops in that area. Jill (played by Patricia Richardson) had to deal with three kids (but they were all boys and all a lot like their father) plus Tim Taylor. And still she managed to get a degree in Psychology. She was far more level headed than her husband – but Gracie Allen would have been more level headed than Tim – and was able to manage her sons. Over time she revealed a bit of a wild side. As a college student she engaged in a bit of rebellion against her Army officer father by getting seriously into marijuana to the point where she had a problem that time helped her to cope with. Also in college she owned a water bed where she and Tim made waves. During the series Richardson lost weight which let the producers put her in more revealing clothes including nighties. She might be frustrated by Tim at times but she was willing to try out the rumble seat of his hot rod.

Joyce Summers – Buffy: the Vampire Slayer: I thought about this one for a while but finally decided that she fit in this category. Joyce – played by Kristine Sutherland – was a huge influence on her daughter to the point where after Joyce`s death Buffy tried to replicate a Thanksgiving meal exactly as her mother would have done it. Joyce is a very protective parent, concerned about her daughter and trying hard to set limits (which by the nature of her powers Buffy sometimes has to overstep) in the period when she doesn't know that Buffy is "The Slayer." There's a certain pride there too exemplified in the way that Joyce reacts to Snyder after Spike and his vampires attack the school. In turn Joyce`s opinion meant a lot to Buffy, and she leaves home when Joyce tells her, "If you walk out of this house right now, don't even think about coming back" because Buffy takes her mother at her word. Although Joyce didn`t date much, there's still a sexual attractiveness there – she's in full MILF mode in Xander's dream at the end of season 4. And who could forget Buffy reading her mother's mind about an encounter with Giles: "Twice? On the hood of a police car?!"

And the anti-Hybrid Mom:

Peg Bundy – Married With Children: It is entirely to the credit of Katey Sagal as an actress that she made herself as believable as she did playing Peg Bundy on Married With Children. Viewed by just about any standard Peg is the worst possible wife and mother in the world – she's lazy, doesn't cook clean or actually do anything that resembles work in or out of the home. She's a fashion disaster and while she's faithful to her husband he dreads even the possibility of intercourse with her unless he sees her doing actual physical labour.

TV Moms II – The Hot Mom

Well it`s more dignified than the term MILF but make no mistake about it the Hot Mom is the very definition of that term, all the more so because I`m doing the picking on this one based on my own prejudices!

Contrary to some expectations, the Hot Mom is not a modern development While I can`t think of any Hot Moms from the 1950s (maybe Dennis`s mom from Dennis The Menace) they do start to appear in the 1960s. They seem to be quite common today – just think of those shows where some fat schlub (like Jim Belushi) is married to some beautiful woman (say Courtney Thorne-Smith) who by all rights wouldn`t be seen dead with him unless he was worth a lot more than the schlub has any expectation of earning in his entire life. Anyway, here`s my highly subjective list of TV`s Hot Moms.

Laura Petrie – The Dick Van Dyke Show: Two words – Capri pants. Three more words – Mary Tyler Moore. While I realise that Moore can be hard to work with (Ken Levine has told some real horror stories about working with her: "Think Ordinary People but without the warmth.") but at the time of the Dick Van Dyke Show she was physically a very attractive woman with great legs, a toned body, and an ass that Rob Reiner said that as a teenager visiting the set he couldn't resist grabbing. This physical nature had a lot to do with the fact that Mary had been a professional dancer as well as an actress (and they made the character a dancer as well). It also helped that they dressed her in clothes that emphasised her physical qualities. Suffice it to say that it always amazed me that the Petries only had one child in those days before The Pill, because if I were Rob I wouldn't have let a little thing like twin beds get in my way.

Samantha Stevens – Bewitched: While Ozzie and Harriet may have been the first TV couple to sleep in a double bed, Samantha was the one who you knew used it for something other than sleeping in. The proof of that is found in the two kids that Samantha gave birth to during the show (necessitated by actress Elizabeth Montgomery's own pregnancies). Samantha had a great face which was where the character's attractiveness really lies since the show toned down Elizabeth Montgomery's body type by showing her in the sort of clothing that a young matron in the early to mid '60s would wear, except when she was in her more "witchy" attire. Some people say that the character of Serena was closer to the real character of Elizabeth Montgomery; certainly she wore sexier clothes than Samantha did. But Samantha was still pretty hot even dressed like a '60s mom.

Ann Romano – One Day at a Time: Bonnie Franklin's character of Ann Romano broke a lot of barriers when Norman Lear's One Day at a Time debuted. For one thing she was a single woman who wasn't a widow but rather a divorcee. Only a few years before CBS had balked at having Mary Richards be a divorcee on the more than slightly spurious grounds that people would think that Rob & Laura Petrie had gotten a divorce (after which Laura changed her name to Mary Richards and moved to Minnesota?). Ann was a woman who decided that she was going to be her own woman rather than just being someone's daughter, wife or mother, which in itself is a bit sexy. Franklin tended not to wear a bra – leading to some people calling her "bouncy Bonnie" – which was typical for a lot of women in the period. Most scandalous of all, Ann had sex. She wasn't as promiscuous as a lot of characters in a lot of today's series, but she was more chased than chaste. Most of all, when the character slept with a man she did it on her terms – she was engaged to – and slept with – her lawyer but broke off the relationship when he stated that he wanted kids and she was through with that part of her life, not for medical reasons but because she didn't want any more kids.

Beverly Crusher – Star Trek: The Next Generation: Okay, a lot of people probably don't get this one but it's my list and my preferences, and I have a fondness for redheads and dancers and Gates McFadden is both of these. Crusher was highly competent as a doctor (temporarily serving Star Fleet Medical she commanded the Enterprise in an encounter with the Borg and did it well. She also had to deal with a lot of things including Wesley as a son, and the fact that Captain Picard was clueless when it came to dealing with women who served him breakfast – it took temporary telepathic abilities for him to realise that Crusher was attracted to him and after she decided that she wasn't ready quite yet to explore the romantic side of their relationship he completely gives up on it! Not that Beverly wasn't getting some action because she was. There was an Irish ghost who had been keeping her grandmother happy for years and was ready to take up with Bev, and of course she had the resident Enterprise manwhore, Will Riker (admittedly his body was temporarily housing a Trill symbiote whose previous body had also been Beverly's lover).

Catherine Willows – CSI: Catherine is undoubtedly one of my favourite TV characters. She's smart, she's ambitious, she enjoys her sexuality and she's a mother, all of which are important parts of her character on the series. She was a former nude dancer (in an early episode she tells Greg Sanders "If you saw me, you'd remember me.") and has had several relationships that seem to have been primarily about sex during the period of the series. In fact at one point she tells her boss Gil Grissom about her frustrations with work and her family life ending by telling him how long it's been since she's had sex – it's measured in weeks rather than months. Her daughter, Lindsay, is one of the reasons why she stopped dancing and why she worked the night shift at the lab, so she can spend at least part of the day with her daughter. Later, Lindsay's rebellious behaviour is why Catherine seeks a day shift job only to be given command of the swing shift.

And the mom who is definitely not a hot mom:

Roseanne Conner – Roseanne: I could just as easily fit her in the Hybrid category, but that was a deliberate choice on the producers' part – they wanted to make the show the "anti-Cosby Show" and Roseanne Conner was about as far from Claire Huxtable as is possible. Then there's the fact that I have never been able to stand Roseanne Barr since the time she was doing her standup act, before she got her TV show. I wouldn't quite say that she made me nauseous, but it was close. So maybe I'm a bit prejudiced; all I know is I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole – ten foot Poles wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole.

TV Mothers I – The Motherly Mom

Since tomorrow is Mothers Day I've decided to offer posts about some of my own favourite TV Moms. In my opinion there are really three types of TV Mom – the Motherly Mom, the Hot Mom, and a sort of mixture that I call the Hybrid Mom. I'm also going to offer at least one example of each that is the antithesis of the type. For this group of posts I'm not counting characters from soap operas (sorry Erica Kane), characters who became moms in the last episode of their shows (that's you Belanna Torres, you hot Klingon you, and you to Fran Fine) and shows that are currently on.

Let's start with the Motherly Mom. For years, particularly in the first couple of decades of television, the Motherly Mom was the standard. Their kids were older and basically you never thought of them in even the most mildly sexual circumstances. They might get an occasional kiss and that's it. They were always dressed stylishly but not elegantly – pearls were optional. So here is my list of Motherly Moms.

Margaret Anderson – Father Knows Best: The archetype done to perfection by Jane Wyatt, although in the original radio series the character was played first June Whitley and later by Jean Vanderpyl who went on to be the voice of another TV mom, Wilma Flintstone. She was grounded, with plenty of common sense which she usually needed. Contrary to the title of the show, the original premise was that Father (Jim Anderson, played by Robert Young) actually didn't know best and would get into various situations that Margaret in her level headed way would get him out of. Jane Wyatt gets extra "mom" points for also having played Amanda Grayson, mother of the most conflicted kid in the galaxy, Mr. Spock, on Star Trek.

June Cleaver – Leave it to Beaver: Almost as big an archetype as Margaret Anderson, June was played by Barbara Billingsley. She and husband Ward Cleaver (played to perfection by Hugh Beaumont), everyone remembers the pearls that she wore no matter what she was doing. She was almost always elegantly dressed and always there for her sons even though they almost always tended to go to their father for advice. And of course she was never fooled by anything that Eddie Haskell ever said – she knew exactly what he was. Billingsley reprised the role of June Cleaver over twenty years after the original show left the air in the revival Still the Beaver, which followed her great performance in Airplane as the "jive translator."

Harriet Nelson – The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet: The third example of the Fifties TV mom. It's a little difficult to evaluate Harriet Nelson because the character she was playing was a fictionalized version of herself, and she was acting with her real husband and children. In fact the wives of her two sons David and Ricky played their wives on the show. The series ran on TV from 1952 to 1966 and had run on radio for eight years before that, and there was an attempt at a revival called Ozzie's Girls without David or Ricky in 1973 that didn't last. The show probably portrayed a sanitized version of the Nelson family life – for one thing Harriet never smoked on TV despite being a two pack a day smoker in real life. Harriet was the level headed one in the family while Ozzie was prone to "great ideas" that inevitably fall through.

Kate Bradley – Petticoat Junction: Kate was different from the three women named above. She was a widow running her own business as well as she could. She was also raising her three daughters with the "help" of uncle, Joe Carson. While there was, of course, no suggestion of sex in the series, the mature Kate did have a couple of romantic entanglements, primarily with storekeeper Sam Drucker (Frank Cady) but it was also implied that C&FW Railroad President Norman Curtis was more than a little enamoured of her. Kate was smart – she had to be to deal with repeated encounters with C&FW Vice President Homer Bedloe not to mention her daughters' various unsuitable suitors. Bea Benedaret, who played Kate as well as Pearl Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillies (mother of Jethro Bodine and his often forgotten twin sister Jethrine – both played by Max Baer although Jethrine's voice was done by Linda Henning, who played Betty Jo Bradley on Petticoat Junction) and Betty Rubble on The Flintstones, was the heart of the series in just about every way that counted and while the series continued following her extended illness and death of lung cancer, it was never the same after she left.

Marion Cunningham – Happy Days: Marion is a mid-'70s take on the Motherly Mom of the 1950s typified by Margaret, June and Harriet. She and her husband Howard are raising three kids (yeah, I'm counting Chuck, wanna make something of it) – four if you count Fonzie who regards "Mrs. C" as much a surrogate mother as his Grandma Nussbaum (who raised him). In a rather amazing way Marion Cunningham (played by the superb Marion Ross) is a bit more realistic than the three characters she's modelled on. Let's face it, it's hard to imagine June Cleaver telling Ward to "sit on it" and the image of Jim and Margaret Anderson even talking about "getting a little frisky" is enough to burn out certain areas of the brain. And yet Marion Cunningham is firmly rooted in the Motherly Mom sensibility.

The Un-Motherly Mom: Lucy Ricardo – I Love Lucy: I know I'm going to get some reaction to this one, but think about it. Set aside the smoking in front of the baby because everyone did that in the 1950s (I have a reference book on I Love Lucy around her someplace that I'm too lazy to bother digging up, but I'm pretty sure that Lucy Ricardo was never shown smoking while she was pregnant) there are other issues at play. The big one for me is the way that she essentially abandoned Little Ricky for extended periods of time. Take the time that they went out to California. The Mertzes and Ricardos travel by car but Little Ricky is left in New York under the care of his maternal grandmother for what seems to the viewer at least like an extended period of time. In California we rarely see Little Ricky – he's either having a nap or under the care of Grandma McGillicuddy. Then, no sooner are the Ricardos and Mertzes back in New York (at least this time the kid made the trip with them) than they're off to Europe. And even though they're travelling by ship, where's Little Ricky? Why he's back in New York with his grandmother. Hardly ideal parenting.

Movie Moguls Must Have Felt Like This

I did something today that I haven't done in about a year – I went to a movie. In a real theatre yet. And I liked it!

Okay, here's the set-up. It was a conjunction of circumstances. First, there's a new theatre in town – the Galaxy – which I hadn't been in yet. Second, a few months ago General Mills had a promotion where if you bought a specially marked package of cereal you'd get a free adult admission to one of the Cineplex chains of theatres (some restrictions apply) of which the Galaxy is one. It was going to run out this weekend so if I didn't use it ASAP all those bowls of Cheerios my mother and I ate would have been for naught. Third, thanks to the Spiderman fan boys, the Galaxy was open in the afternoon on a weekday – not a common practice in Saskatoon. Fourth, and finally, they were showing something that I actually wanted to see. No, it wasn't Spiderman 3. My free admission wouldn't work for that and to be honest I read the reviews. No, the movie I wanted to see was Lucky You starring Eric Bana, Robert Duvall, Drew Barrymore and a veritable host of poker players who are familiar to anyone who has ever watched a season of the World Poker Tour or the World Series of Poker.

I'll get to the movie in a bit, but first the theatre. It's amazing. At least it's amazing to someone who has become used to theatres that might seat 150 people at a time, where the lack of quality of the sound system is only exceeded by the sight lines, the ratio of screen height to room size, the quality of the seats, the cramped lobby, and the house lights that are never really dark. The lobby at the Galaxy is huge and not only includes the concession stand but also tables to eat the overpriced food but also a video arcade. The concession stand is also huge and besides popcorn, candies and soft drinks also offers hot dogs, nachos, pizza and frozen yogurt. There's a choice(!) of butter or margarine for the popcorn and if you order a small drink the girl might tell you that you're better off ordering a bottle of pop which is a dime cheaper. The prices at the concession are a crime of course. It says something when the price of a soft drink, tub of popcorn and a candy bar costs more than the movie you came to watch – and it's called a deal! I bought a hot dog and a bottle of Coke for just over $7.50 and headed for the theatre showing the film I was going to see.

Stadium seating is amazing. I picked a seat that looked to be about halfway up the screen and in the middle of the row. The seat was amazingly comfortable and tilted back slight when I sat in it. The projector was already in operation even though I had taken my seat at least five minutes before the start time listed in the newspaper. They were showing a combination of ads, promos for the theatre chain's magazine and music videos. As usual the sound was too loud but over time I got used to it. Eventually – it seemed like about 10 minutes after the show was supposed to start the picture actually rolled. By that time two other people had arrived and had taken seats well below me. Yes, this movie was going to be seen by a total of three people.

As for the movie itself, it was good but not great. Eric Bana played "Huck" (short for Huckleberry) Cheever. He's a professional poker player who is down on his luck. We first see him pawning a digital camera which we later find out wasn't actually his. We watch him as he builds up his bankroll from what he got at the pawn shop to enough to play in the big money game at the Bellagio. Along the way he meets Billy Offer, a young singer from Bakersfield who is temporarily living with her sister Suzanne played by Debra Messing. He also encounters his nemesis: his father L.C. Cheever, in Las Vegas to play in the 2003 World Series of Poker (or rather a fictionalized version of the 2003 World Series – the date is a problem because the 2003 Main Event was the one that Chris Moneymaker won, the beginning of the current Poker boom). L.C. breaks his son, something that happens repeatedly in the film. Huck hooks up with Billie and after bedding her, "borrows" her money (without asking). He runs it up, hoping to get a stake to enter the Main Event but eventually loses it all. Time after time he gets his entry fee only to lose it or have it snatched away. He alienates the patient Billie who is alternately fascinated and disgusted by him. When he eventually makes his entry fee into the Main Event he drives to Bakersfield, where Billie has run to for a few days, just to tell her. He works his way through the crowded field in the tournament, finally making the final table which includes a couple of professionals we've seen earlier in the film, several Internet players ... and L.C. going for his third Main Event bracelet. The finale sees the father finally explaining his past actions to his son and a surprising decision by Huck at the end. The cast of Lucky You is seeded with a host of top professionals, some of whom actually get more than a few seconds of screen time. Sam Farha, playing himself, has by far the most lines, while "Johnny World" Hennigan may have the most interesting part playing a player at the final table of the Main Event who barely acknowledges the existence of any of his opponents and certainly won't shake hands with the people he's eliminated.

How good is this movie? Let's put it this way: someday someone is going to make a movie about the world of Poker players and tournament Poker that is the game's answer to Grand Prix or Le Mans for Auto Racing or The Hustler or The Color of Money for Pool. This isn't it. There have been good, even great Poker movies – Rounders and The Cincinnati Kid come to mind immediately, but this film is lacking as a movie about Poker. The romance in the film is also underdeveloped. There's no real explanation of why Billie keeps coming back to Huck. Even the reconciliation between father and son seems forced. On the whole I found the film adequate, even enjoyable at times, but hardly great, and at time just barely good.

Sitting in that empty theatre – well empty except for the two people sitting below me who may not even have been aware of my presence – I started to think that this must have been what it was like for one of the great movie moguls like Louis B. Mayer or Jack Warner, sitting and watching a movie with no one to bother you. About all that was missing was the ability to smoke a cigar and to be able to tell the projectionist to stop the film because I'd seen enough. On further reflection though I realized something; while this may have been an almost luxurious experience it wasn't the movie going experience. The thing that has always made going to the movies superior to television has been that movies are a shared experience. You go to the movies with someone. You talk to them about the movie – preferably after the movie is over. You even share the overpriced popcorn. In a comedy you laugh when the people around you laugh, not when someone pushes a button that plays a laugh track tells you "this is funny, listen to the laughter." At its heart, television is a solitary experience. You may talk about a show you saw the next day at work in hope that they saw the same show, or you might read about it in a blog, but the experience isn't shared at the instant it occurs. Watching a movie in a theatre with only two other people in the audience (who may or may not be aware of your presence in the room) is in some way like watching TV on a really really big screen.

Spy Coins!

Here's a tip for the guy who takes over NCIS from David P. Bellisario next season. The 2004 Canadian Poppy quarter is not an espionage device.

This story has been popping up all over (sort of like poppies I guess). Tim Gueguen had it in his blog Monday (but after I read it yesterday) and it was in the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix today. And if it was in the Star-Phoenix today it must have been out in the rest of the media sometime last week – the Star-Phoenix isn't exactly the quickest paper to jump on a story.

So here's the scoop as they used to say in the newspaper business (but rarely around the Star-Phoenix offices – the usual phrase there is "here's the wire copy and the latest slams against the NDP"). In 2004 Canada issued a 25^₵ coin (technically we don't have "quarters" in Canada; that word's not on the money unlike the United States) commemorating veterans. The design was unique in that it had what amounts to a decal on it depicting a red poppy. The decal is covered with a coating that is supposed to prevent the colour in the centre of the coin from wearing off due to handling (with varying degrees of success – mine was quite faded when I got it). In Canada and many Commonwealth countries, including the United Kingdom, the red poppy is the symbol of remembrance for the casualties of wars – plastic poppies are sold to raise funds for veterans' organizations and worn in the week leading up to November 11^th. The Royal Canadian Mint issued 30 million of the coins, primarily through the Tim Horton's donut chain.

In 2005 and 2006 US defense contractors working in Canada submitted reports to the Defense Security Service, an agency of the US Department of Defense. According to the reports the coins were "filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology." One contractor discovered one of the coins in the cup holder of his rental car. He gave it a thorough examination: "It did not appear to be electronic (analog) in nature or have a power source. Under high-power microscope it appeared to be complex consisting of several layers of clear but different material, with a wire like mesh suspended on top." One contractor believed someone was planting the coins on him when he found two in the outer pockets of his coat: "Coat pockets were empty that morning and I was keeping all of my coins in a plastic bag in my inner coat pocket." The contractor reports led to the DSS issuing a security warning that "mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters were found planted on US contractors on at least three separate occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors travelled through Canada." The warning suggested that the coins could be used to track the movements of people carrying them. However, at no time did the Defense Security Service actually examine any of the coins.

Needless to say this caused concerns with officials of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service (CSIS). Luc Portelance, now Deputy Director of CSIS wrote to a subordinate in January of this year, "That story about Canadians planting coins in the pockets of defence contractors will not go away. Could someone tell me more? Where do we stand and what's the story on this?" Other CSIS officials were also seeking answers: "We would be very interested in any more detail you may have on the validity of the comment related to using Canadian coins in this manner. If it is accurate are they talking industrial or state espionage? If the latter, who?"

No one seems to have an explanation of how the coins could be effectively used to track someone, given that they could be disposed of through the simple method of spending them on a gumball.

Short Takes – May 7, 2007

I'm kind of bummed out because the team that I wanted to win The Amazing Race did not win The Amazing Race. I confess it – I was cheering for Dustin & Kandice the Beauty Queens mostly because they had a killer competitive spirit. Not that they were my favourite team to start the Race – that would be a toss-up between Rob & Amber and Terri & Ian, with Uchenna & Joyce and Danny & Oswald also on the list – but I liked Dustin & Kandice a heck of a lot more than I like Mirna (Charla's okay – quite daring really) and Eric & Danielle's breasts (she was showing the girls off a lot this season). So naturally Eric & Danielle (and her breasts) won. Oh well, hopefully there's always next year. The show has already started recruiting contestants for The Amazing Race 12 and although the show has not been officially renewed – we'll have to wait for next week's upfront announcements for that – it has been a solid if not spectacular ratings performer on Sunday nights and doing particularly well after a sports overrun.

Coinkidink: Speaking of Rob & Amber, I was doing a little research for something I'll hopefully finish writing in the next couple of days and I found a really strange connect the dots sort of thing linking them. It seems that Rob Mariano attended Xavierian Brothers High School in Westbrook Massachusetts. If I did my math right, one of his classmates was Matt Hasselbeck who is now the starting quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks. Hasselbeck's brother Tim (who also attended Xavierian Brothers is married to Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who is now one of the hosts of The View on ABC. Before they were married, Elizabeth Hasselbeck – then Elizabeth Filarski – was one of the contestants on Survivor: Outback where one of her competitors was Amber Brkich, who is now married to Rob Mariano.

Gilmore Girls going: The CW and Warner Brothers TV announced that this will be the last season for The Gilmore Girls. According to the press announcement "This series helped define a network and created a fantastic, storybook world featuring some of television's most memorable, lovable characters. We thank Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dan Palladino, Dave Rosenthal, the amazing cast led by Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel as well as the producers, writers and crew for giving us this delightful gem for the past seven years. We would also like to thank the critics and 'Gilmore' fans for their passionate support and promise to give this series the send off it deserves." A variety of reasons have been cited for ending the series including the reluctance of Alexis Bledel to continue in the role of Rory Gilmore once her contract ends and the sense (at least among fans of the show) that last year's decision by Amy Sherman-Paladino to leave the series resulted in a reduction in the quality of the series. Although I rarely watched a complete episode of The Gilmore Girls, as someone who was a huge fan of The West Wing I feel the pain of Gilmore Girls fans, even though The West Wing had far more time to prepare a final sequence of episodes than Gilmore Girls did. On the other hand the final episode of the series was reportedly written to work as either a season or a series finale.

Lost Ending: Not right away mind you but we now have a definitive ending date for Lost: 2009 – or maybe not. Series producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindlehof had been pressuring ABC to decide on a definitive ending date for the series and apparently ABC gave a date of two years. At least that was what was originally reported by E! Online's Planet Gossip. However a few hours after that report, E! Online's Watch With Kristin, while confirming that a date has been set and will be announced stated that the story was more complex than originally reported and "ABC will be making an announcement declaring an end date for Lost very soon. However, the exact number of remaining episodes and seasons is still muddy—and might not be exactly two seasons." Kristin also reports that next season will run continuously from January to May 2008 – avoiding the disaster that occurred this season when six episodes aired at the start of the year after which there was a gap that was supposed to be filled by the Taye Diggs series Day Break until that show was rather unceremoniously pulled from the line-up after six episodes – and will be moved back to its original time in the second hour of primetime. I'm reasonably cheered by most of the aspects of this announcement, even though I've basically given up watching Lost this year in part because of the time and in part because the six episodes followed by an extended break made me feel as if the fans were being taken for granted. The decision to run the series in a continuous run is one that I think more shows, particularly shows which are continuity heavy and as a result "don't repeat well" should look at as an alternative to pulling the show part way through the season and then returning it to the line-up.

Bellisario walks: Not far, but Donald P. Bellisario has apparently decided to step down as showrunner of NCIS after series star Mark Harmon threatened to leave the series because of Bellisario's "chaotic management style." Bellisario was reportedly in the habit of faxing in script pages to the set at the last minute which frustrated and angered Harmon according to TV Guide's Michael Ausiello. Bellisario will stay with CBS; as part of his deal with the network he will be developing two new series for the network. It is an excellent resolution for most of the people involved but particularly for the network. Not only does CBS retain one of its top drawing series, but they get two more shows from the creator of Magnum P.I., Airwolf, Quantum Leap, and JAG.

Why hold those pesky primaries and elections: TVNewser had item from FoxNews among its quotes and criticism about the first Republican presidential debate, hosted by Chris Matthews. The quote is from an article by former Clinton staffer Dick Morris and Eileen McGann: ""MSNBC and Politico deliberately marginalized Giuliani and steered far too many of the important questions to anybody not named Rudy. In doing so, they paid homage to their Democratic Party masters by diminishing the candidate most likely to win in November." While other commentaries also criticized Matthews's handling of the questioning, Fox was the only one to actually name the next president of the United States.

Who does the PTC hate this week?: No one.

I know, it's pretty surprising but the only new addition to the PTC's home page is a note praising Sears as one of the organization's ten best advertisers: "Sears Holdings consistently avoids advertising on programming that contains graphic violence, excessive sexual content and foul language, and we want to congratulate your organization." The cite sponsorship of specific shows including Reba, 7^th Heaven and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (which at times seems like and extended Sear commercial – my opinion, not the PTC's) and states that "Sears clearly understands what it means to be a good corporate citizen and the importance of adhering to a set of media guidelines for their advertising messages."

Addison’s Adventures in LaLaLand

What can I say about Thursday night's two hour episode of Grey's Anatomy that was supposed to serve as a pilot for the proposed Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh) spin-off series, tentatively titled Private Practice? I guess I can honestly say that for the first time in a very long time I was overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.

How do I explain this? I guess a major thing is that the decision to make this a two hour episode and to intercut events at Seattle Grace with Addison's adventures in LaLaLand was a poor choice. I felt overwhelmed with the number of storylines that intermingled and really the effort needed to try to keep things straight. I'll get to the "underwhelmed" part shortly but suffice it to say that maybe my perspective on the whole thing would have been different if they'd presented this in a different manner. There was enough drama and conflict in the Seattle Grace part that it should have been on its own, while I would have had more of a chance to feel involved in the Addison story if it had been presented as a contiguous whole. In my mind's eye, I can see how I'd have presented it, with only minimal ties to Seattle Grace in the Addison episode (Derek asks the Chief where Addison is; cut to Addison driving down the highway into Hollywood – close the episode with Addison walking through the doors of Seattle Grace seen from the exterior of the place) and a few more mentions in the Seattle Grace episode (same scene of Derek and the Chief at the start, and seeing Addison returning to Seattle Grace from inside the hospital; maybe some more stuff in the middle). But the way the show was presented didn't do a service to either story but seemed particularly harmful to getting to know who was who and what was going on in the Oceanside Wellness Group story.

I'm not going to go into detail about the Seattle Grace side of Thursday's show. Too bad, because there are some really major developments in the George–Izzie–Callie triangle; Christina's impending nuptials with Burke and Burke's apparent worries; the gradual collapse of the Derek-Meredith relationship (again); and oh yes, the totally unexpected (and in my book unnecessary because I liked the character) death of Meredith's step-mom that seemed to happen only so we could see Meredith rejected by her remaining parent with a serious slap across the face (and no one did anything to support her – more Mer angst on the way). But that wasn`t the focus of the episode, or wouldn`t have been if this had been a one hour episode. The focus was on Addison and the pilot for the spin-off, and on that I have to say that I was underwhelmed.

As I said before part of the problem was the structure for the episode. We`d spend a bit of time in California, sometimes just a vignette, sometimes an extended sequence and then be whisked back to Seattle Grace for a scene of Christina trying on a wedding gown, or Karev spending time with Ava, the amnesiac patient injured on the ferry weeks ago. Maybe it was me but all of this didn`t leave me confused but did make it slightly hard to follow the narrative and develop a feeling for most of the characters.

After her bit of "passion" with Alex Karev in last week's episode which terminated when Alex told her "I'm not your boyfriend" (in other words ruined it in a typically Alex manner), Addison has taken a leave of absence and driven down the coast to LA to see one of her oldest friends who just happens to be a fertility specialist Naomi (Merrin Dungey). See, with no prospect of a long term relationship leading to babies, Addison has decided to go the artificial insemination route to get part of the "everything" that she thinks Naomi has. Trouble is that Naomi doesn't have everything – her marriage has broken up and she's sort of envious that Addison went off to sow while she was marrying like she should, having a kid and building a practice. Addison wants as much to take a vacation from McDreamy, McSteamy and McStiffy (sorry, Addison didn't say it, I borrowed that one from Bruno on Dancing With The Stars) and hang out on the beach. You know that isn't going to happen though – there'd be no episode otherwise – and in short order Addison is pulled into the goings on at Oceanside. It seems their OB-Gyn quit when her relationship with another doctor at the place went south, and since there's and empty office.... The other doctors in the practice are Naomi's ex, Sam (Taye Diggs) who has written one of those successful self help books (I swear, someone on the beach called him "Dr. Feelgood") and is apparently quite in love with his own image since it's plastered all over the reception area; Violet (Amy Brenneman) the resident psychiatrist who is unlucky at love (maybe it's the way she dresses when she goes to the market – Brenneman uglies up real good); Cooper (Paul Adelstein) the socially inept pediatrician who likes to meet women online and refuses to believe it when they turn out to be hookers and in this case steal his Porsche; and Pete (Tim Daly) the serial monogamous "new age" alternative medicine expert (or as my friend Orac would say, pitcher of Woo) who Addison is attracted to almost immediately. Rounding out the cast is Dell (Chris Lowell), the receptionist who wants to be with Naomi and takes his lunch breaks surfing. In other words, like Grey`s Anatomy, this backdoor pilot is full of quirky characters.

It also has some quirky cases. Violet and Sam have a husband and wife as patients. It seems that the wife has been getting hurt a lot on exercise equipment because her husband hasn`t had sex with her in a couple of years. He just doesn`t feel it. Violet`s solution is to tell him to have sex with his wife even if he doesn`t feel in the mood. As a treatment regimen it leaves something to be desired, and so does the patient`s response to the ``therapy" – he isn't able to make love to his wife leading Sam to look for a physical cause. They eventually discover a tumour on his adrenal gland, although not before the wife spends the night away from home. She tells her husband that she could have cheated but didn't. When the truth comes out about his illness she confides to Violet that she did indeed have a one night stand. The other case was more in Addison's line – a surrogate mother who had sex with two or three men after the ova was implanted in her. Of course there's a potentially life threatening complication that could be dealt with easily if the baby went to term, and of course the stress of the situation means that the surrogate can't bring the baby to term. This leads to a confrontation between Addison, who earlier learned that she'd run out of chances to have a baby of her own, and the cloud of people surrounding the case who seemed more interested in the identity of the father and whether the surrogate mother would go through with the adoption than they were with the health of the baby and the birth mother.

I'm not convinced that this show would work as a spin-off, but if it doesn't it's not because of the cast. As always Tim Daly is effortlessly charming and he certainly seems to have more than a little chemistry with Kate Walsh. I'm not overly familiar with Merrin Dungey – I never watched Alias – but she seemed to be in full "best friend" mode. Adelstein's pediatrician is mostly played for comic relief as he maintained a belief that his Internet date hadn't stolen his car right up to the time the stripped shell of his Porsche was found abandoned on the street. As for Taye Diggs I can't say that much about him. He works as the celebrity doctor and yet I found things were a little lacking when it came to his motives for splitting with his wife. Kate Walsh was great, but then Addison has rapidly become one of my two or three favourite characters on Grey's Anatomy largely due to the way that Walsh has played the character. Amy Brenneman played against the type I usually associate her by playing Violet as more than a little insecure at times.

As I mentioned, I wasn`t at all happy with the way that they decided to interweave the action in Los Angeles with the events at Seattle Grace, so that might have had an influence on the way that I regarded the writing of the Private Practice portions of the episode. I tended to find the LA portions of the episode a bit flat. It may be that part of the problem is that they seemed to have made the choice to bring the quirkiness of Grey`s Anatomy to the new show but what works with (supposedly) 20-something interns isn`t necessarily the right formula for professionals in their late 30s or early 40s who have already established their careers. There were some nice touches – Sam walking the absurdly small dog while talking with Pete near the beach was one of those moments as was Violet`s encounter with her commitment-phobic ex-boyfriend – and his new much younger wife – at the supermarket. The best scenes revolved around Addison though, whether it was Addison and the "talking" elevator or an unwilling Addison getting acupuncture from Pete to release her stress. Give Walsh this sort of scene and she sparkles. I tended to find though that there was a sometimes too conscious effort to remind us that this is Southern California and things are different here that was a bit forced. Pete, the alternative medicine practitioner, was part of this – he wouldn't have been allowed within a hundred yards of Seattle Grace. Another of those scenes was when Naomi, Addison and Violet watch Dell walk through the lobby wearing his swim trunks and carrying his surfboard. It's a scene that practically screams "this is California and we're at the beach," with a healthy dose of "women have the right to objectify younger men." It's sort of a double standard for Naomi though – she can ogle Dell but when Dell tries to start a relationship with her it's inappropriate.

The first time I saw Grey's Anatomy there was a "wow" factor at play. It wasn't that the show was particularly innovative but it took a form that I was familiar with – the sort of "young doctors" movie that had been popular in the early 1960s – and updated it by making the characters more overtly sexual. It was a different take on a form that was so familiar that it had become trite. I don't get the same "wow" factor from the Private Practice portions of Thursday's Grey's Anatomy episode. There were interesting bits and pieces, but on the whole it was, well ordinary and certainly nothing to get overly excited about. Maybe that was a result of the pilot being intermingled with the Grey's episode. Maybe it was that I at least had high expectations that weren't met because of the strength of Grey's Anatomy. Either way – or maybe for some other reason that I can't fully understand – I was distinctly underwhelmed by the Private Practice backdoor pilot. And if anyone at ABC were to ask me (which of course they wouldn't) I'd tell them to pass on Private Practice, keep Addison at Seattle Grace and Kate Walsh on Grey's Anatomy, at least until they come up with a better vehicle for her and the character.

Short Takes – April 30, 2007

Last week I had planned on writing one of these Short Takes pieces, in part because the PTC's "Worst show of the week" article on 24 last week tossed in a reference to the Virginia Tech shootings that was at once so self-serving, and so incidental to the piece that it was almost a non sequitur that I was livid. Then I remembered the old advice to newsgroup writers about posting when you're angry and decided not to write about it. The problem is that this is so typical of the PTC's behaviour that expecting them not to mention it would have been like expecting the scorpion not to sting the frog. The problem for me was that they didn't address the issue head on with facts and figures or even anecdotal evidence. Instead they just tacked a sentence – "In light of the tragic events at Virginia Tech, it is deplorable that young people with impressionable minds could view such programming and fantasize about the use of weaponry in such a violent manner" – onto a piece that had been written before the events at Virginia Tech occurred about something that had absolutely no connection with those events.

Now let's go on to current events.

Another Tim Minear series bites the dust: I swear I don't know why Tim Minear or any of the Buffy/Angel team keeps working for Fox. Or at least keeps doing shows for the FOX Television Network. Consider his record. The first series he did as a producer was the syndicated High Tide: it ran three years. Next was Strange World which ran 13 episodes on Sci-Fi. Then came Angel, which was on The WB for five seasons. Then came the series that he did for FOX: Firefly (14 episodes aired – eventually), Wonderfalls (14 episodes shot, 4 aired), The Inside (14 episodes shot, 7 aired), Standoff (consulting producer on 4 episodes). To that you can add Drive – 6 episodes shot, 4 aired.

I haven't seen Drive. I swear I was going to review it but forgot to turn on the VCR for the two hour premiere, did tape the third episode (on my bowling night so I couldn't see it live). I wasn't sure I could get into the show without having seen the first two episodes (the premiere) and after I saw the ratings for Monday's show on the Programming Insider section of the Media Week website I pretty much knew that this series was drawing dead as we say in Poker. I still have what turned out to be the last two episodes on tape and I may actually watch them to see if the show was worth saving. It seems at times as though Miner creates shows just so Fox can cancel them. I didn't see Wonderfalls and I wasn't impressed with a non-Miner episode of Standoff but I was a big fan of Firefly (it's one of the few series I own on DVD) and was quite impressed with the interplay of characters on The Inside – a series that Fox brought Miner in to salvage.

The cancellation of Drive seems to be symptomatic of this entire television season on all networks, not just FOX. According to Ed Bark, Drive is the ninth series this season to be cancelled after five episodes or less (he counts Celebrity Duets as a tenth show but it was meant to only go five episodes). In addition he lists eight other shows that got at least six episodes before being pulled. Of the 17 shows he mentions in his article five were on Fox – six if you count Celebrity Duets – and five on ABC. NBC had three, CBS had two and The CW one. Eight of the 17 could be described as serials or shows with a heavy reliance on continuity. The whole thing has reached a certain level of self fulfilling prophecy from a viewer's standpoint. Some people are taping or TiVoing shows for fear of getting involved in something that will get cancelled – they'll catch up with the show if it stays in the line-up – but even with the new Nielsen ratings system which counts recorded shows if they are watched within a week of being recorded, the fact that they are waiting to see if the show becomes successful enough to stay on the schedule for as long as 13 weeks means reduced viewership (lower ratings) which means that cancellation is more likely. In other words "I won't watch it now in case it gets cancelled, but it gets cancelled because people aren't watching it." It seems to be a vicious circle.

Alec Baldwin wants to leave 30 Rock: Baldwin announced that he wanted to get out of his contract on NBC's 30 Rock shortly after the infamous voicemail message to his daughter. His stated reason is that "he does not want to bring bad press to the show." NBC has rejected the request, which is probably best for all involved. My feeling is that after a certain amount of time for the controversy to cool off he would have regretted taking this sort of action at the spur of the moment. His comments in the voicemail to his daughter were harsh but everyone has had moments like this caused by anger and frustration; his just "happened" to be made public. My real anger isn't with him it is with whoever leaked this to the media. Given the bitterness of his custody battle with ex-wife Kim Bassinger it isn't hard to think of who that might have been.

Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View: Rosie is one of those people who polarize opinion. Some people love her, other people loath her. Last week Rosie announced that she would not be returning to The View once her current contract ends. Donald Trump immediately told everyone who could be bothered to listen – which was surprisingly more people than just his four children and his Melanija – that Barbara Walters had finally wised up and fired the "fat slob" (Trump had called her that when their original feud broke out). Apparently the truth was far more business related, and concerned the length of her contract with the show's producers ABC. Rosie wanted a one year contract, which would give her greater flexibility, while ABC wanted her to sign a three year contract. In other words, contrary to what "The Donald" believed, ABC (and presumably Barbara Walters) wanted her to stay on the show and for a longer period of time than Rosie herself was willing to commit to. It's no secret why ABC wanted Rosie to stay on the show – ratings for The View have increased significantly since O'Donnell replaced Meredith Viera.

Who does the PTC hate this week?: Oh it's a long and distinguished list of both likes and dislikes. Let's start with the likes.

First there's the National Religious Broadcasters for coming around to support the concept of cable choice "the only way to enable them to be truly in control of the television content coming into their homes." They also cite support from something called the Free Congress Research and Education Foundation. I had to look that one up but it's about what you think it is. According to their own description the Foundation is a Conservative think tank but a socially conservative think tank: "Most think tanks talk about tax rates or the environment or welfare policy and occasionally we do also. But our main focus is on the Culture War. Will America return to the culture that made it great, our traditional, Judeo-Christian, Western culture? Or will we continue the long slide into the cultural and moral decay of political correctness? If we do, America, once the greatest nation on earth, will become no less than a third world country." As for the NRB, Chris Hedges, writing in Harper's Magazine on May 30, 2005, described it as one of the leading groups of the Dominionist movement (defined by Wikipedia as "the notion that Christians owe it to God to exercise God's dominion in secular society is asserted, by means of '[taking] control of a sinful secular society.'") I'll leave those two except to say that "by their friends shall ye know them" (which is an overused quote but it fits). The PTC adds "Families should not be forced to subsidize cable networks that air indecent, profane or graphically violent material. Families are counting on religious broadcasters and other pro-family organizations to continue to lend support for cable choice." Somehow it seems more likely to me that many of the first cable channels cut will be the religious channels.

The PTC is also very happy about the FCC report on TV violence – although not enough to provide a link to the FCC report or even to quote from it. Mostly the PTC is too busy quoting itself:

• The PTC found that violence on prime time broadcast television has increased 75% since 1998. The television season that began in the fall of 2005 was also one of the most violent ever recorded by the PTC.
  
• Upon review of prime time broadcast programming from 1995 to 2001, the PTC found 110 scenes of torture. From 2002 to 2005, the number increased to 624 scenes of torture.
  
• The TV ratings system is still not accurate, and thus grossly unreliable, due to the fact that content descriptors are being arbitrarily and inconsistently applied by the broadcast networks during prime time viewing hours. This means that parents cannot rely on blocking technology to protect their children from inappropriate content.
  

"We desperately hope that this report will achieve what has heretofore been fruitless: To motivate the industry to step up to the plate, take responsibility for its product, and fix a problem that it has not only created but perpetuated. And make no mistake about it: the industry has the ability to fix it. The question is whether it will do so." They then go off on a tangent on every issue that the PTC disagrees with the networks about from the "arbitrary, inaccurate, and entirely self-serving" rating system to the decision by the networks to file suit (actually I believe it's an appeal) in the Federal Court "to use the F-word in front of children."

On the other hand the PTC hates General Electric. It's ironic that the organization that wants to censor television programming itself is complaining about censorship. The PTC was engaged in one of its usual diatribes at the GE shareholder's meeting. PTC Director of Corporate and Government Affairs Don Isett was calling on GE, parent company of NBC, to "stop producing, promoting and broadcasting programs that contain some of the most graphic violence, excessive sexual content and foul language on television." A transcript of Isett's statement is found at the site linked. It began "I am here today because NBC consistently promotes and produces programming that contains graphic violence, excessive sexual content and foul language and we think this needs to stop – now." It includes references to the increase in violence (by 635% in the 10 p.m. hour between 1998 to 2005-06 – 2 incidents per hour in 1998, 15 in 2005-06), profanity (he cited the "dick in a box" sketch on SNL; the PTC applauds the bleeping of 16 uses of "a vulgar slang term for penis" but decries the decision of NBC to put the uncensored version onto its website), and NBC's assertion of its legal right to sue in federal court "demanding the right to air the F-word in front of children watching broadcast television." His statement was cut off after he delivered what reads to me like a concluding statement: "Chairman Immelt, GE can and should deliver the scale of a great company to solve big needs around the world and can act as a good citizen by making sure that its impact transcends the bottom line. Those words should sound familiar to you as they are the GE corporate policy on community. Please, now more than ever, NBC needs your help; the proud history of NBC demands no less."

Finally, the PTC's worst show of the week is the episode of Thank God You're Here featuring actress (and first rate Poker player) Shannon Elizabeth. The PTC starts by taking a shot at Shannon's career: "This week featured Shannon Elizabeth, best known for her role in the sex charged teen comedy movie American Pie. It can be argued that Ms. Elizabeth's career has been driven by her nude scene in American Pie and by her reputation for playing promiscuous women." Only then do they go onto the actual content of the show. She participated in two sketches, one solo and one with the other people on the episode, Tom Green, George Takei, and Chelsea Handler. The PTC seems most upset about her individual sketch in which she plays an advertising copywriter. "Traveling quickly down an improvisational road to indecency, Elizabeth pitches an idea for vodka for children. At the conclusion of her skit she is given a bottle of vodka, pepper, and a banana to show the client her new concept for how to drink the beverage. Elizabeth inserts the banana into the male client's mouth and proceeds to insert the other end in her mouth, blatantly mimicking oral sex." Let's start by mentioning that the idea of vodka for children was actually suggested by actors in the scene who are working from a script. The excerpt on the PTC's site (which is not available on Firefox) doesn't actually show the "infamous" banana scene (which "climaxes" – so to speak – when she bites the tip off the banana), but again it is the scripted actors who provide the banana prop. As for Shannon Elizabeth's other scene, the group scene features a Viking leader trying to select his successor. The PTC objects to the way that Shannon "proves" why she should replace the king. "Shannon Elizabeth wastes no time and simply begins kissing the king deeply as the crowd cheers. This sparks a kissing spree as Ms. Elizabeth proceeds to kiss the judge and other cast members. A kissing orgy erupts and the cast all begin kissing each other. The display clearly crossed the line of friendly affection and was absolutely a sexual spectacle. " They finish up with this claim "It should also be noted that the rating for his episode was a mere TV-PG, proving once again that the ratings system is a sham in its efforts to protect our children. For its irresponsible depiction of sexual promiscuity and heavy sexual innuendo, Thank God You're Here is our pick for Worst of the Week." Sexual innuendo I get based on the banana scene, but surely there have been worse depictions of sexual promiscuity. And remember the "PG" in TV-PG stands for "Parental Guidance." The blocking software allows parents to keep their kids from seeing any TV-PG show the rating of which implies that there is material that parents might not want their younger children seeing and which they should be diligent in watching with their children. If you object to something that you see in a show like this, change the channel or turn the damned TV off.

And just to give you a sense of what we're talking about, here in its entirety is the Viking Sketch from the April 18^th episode of Thank God You're Here. I think it's funny.