On The Ninth Day Of Christmas...

My true love (TV) gave to me - Nine odds and ends.

Okay, I confess, I had nothing for Day Nine. For I while I was thinking of doing "Nine Thinking Man's Sex Symbols" except that I'm not exactly sure what a "thinking man's sex symbol" is except that breast size is not the primary or secondary consideration (but I wouldn't rule out tertiary). And I will include some of my picks, but there's still a lot of other stuff to mention (including one that I forgot entirely and still can't remember).

• How much fun was it to watch the PTC tie itself up in knots over Michelle Lamour's appearances on America's Got Talent? She first appeared as the Snow White stripper on the same episode as Bianca Ryan and the PTC went ballistic about the unfairness of having an 11 year old competing against that hussy. The second time she appeared on the show she was working with a version of KITT from David Hasselhoff's old series Knight Rider. I was expecting the PTC to attack her for contributing to the delinquency of a car, and they came very close to saying just that.
• America's Got Talent in general was a hoot. What a wild ride that show was. There were tears, histrionics, temper tantrums and over the top performances. And that was just from the judges! That doesn't consider acts like Rapping Granny, or the woman who shot a bow and arrow with her feet. And who can forget Leonid The Magnificent. I know I can't. And believe me I've tried.
• Another summer show that I have a fondness for is Hell's Kitchen and not just because the PTC hates it and Gordon Ramsey's swearing. This time at least the show had not only a deserving winner but a deserving loser. Heather won (hurray) because she knew how to run her line chefs with authority and was smart enough to pick the best people. Virginia lost (hurray) because she picked the weakest people to participate on her team -and told them so - then had to pay them out of pocket to motivate them to do anything for her. If you're in Canada by the way, Food Network will be rerunning Hell's Kitchen uncensored starting January 2.
• It is a known fact that people like to watch train wrecks. That may just possibly be why Show Me The Money lasted for five episodes. I watched the first episode in its horrific entirety. It gave me a headache, but I still kept coming back from time to time. But here's the kicker - the show had fans. I know this because I ran into one at my bowling league's Christmas party and I had to break the news to him that the show had been canceled the week before. I tried not to sound too happy, but I don't think I pulled it off.
• Does it strike anyone as being absolutely right that the type of show that the Parents Television Council finds most suitable for "family" viewing is a type of show that a lot of people find to be the worst thing to ever contaminate TV? I'm speaking here of reality shows, and while I watch and defend some of them (Survivor, Beauty and the Geek, Big Brother, Hell's Kitchen and of course The Amazing Race - be sure to watch The Amazing Race All Star Edition coming in February), most of them are a waste of the video tape they're shot on. Maybe it shows how out of touch the PTC really is with the public taste - or maybe not since so many of these shows are still on.
• Why is it that the current crop of prime time game shows aren't designed to give the players a shot at the maximum prize? Think about it; Deal Or No Deal is set up in such a way that it is extremely attractive for players to take the banker's offer unless the only cases left are all big money. In 1 vs. 100 the risk ratchets up as the number of mob members decreases making it extremely attractive to drop out when you reach over $100,000. 1 vs. 100 is about survival of the fittest and as mob members are knocked out the remainder are the fittest mentally. In fact there has only been one show in which I've seen the maximum amount won. It was in the second episode of Identity where through luck pluck and possibly a certain amount of not getting it, a Filipino-American managed to guess the identities of all twelve of the people on the stage. And his reaction as he climbed up the ladder (and Penn) was great. But that was the exception to the rule.
• This thinking man's sex symbol 3: I spent virtually all of the seven years that The West Wing was on the air dealing with a serious crush on C.J. "Flamingo" Cregg. She was intelligent, witty, willing to be "one of the boys" and not take herself too seriously, and she was 6 feet tall (I like women as tall as I am). Her love life was a catastrophic wreck. It may explain my fondness for the character of Annabeth Schott - she was C.J. in a smaller package and a better love life.
• This thinking man's sex symbol 2: I’ve been wracking my brains on this one. I think it might have to go to Lisa Cuddy on House. I mean set aside the fact that Lisa Edelstein, who plays Cuddy, played Sam Seaborn’s “friend” Laurie the hooker on The West Wing (and looked damned fine in a blouse and panties). No the reason that Cuddy fills the role of this thinking man’s #2 sex symbol is because she has to deal with Gregory House and amazingly hasn’t folded into the fetal position. She actually sort of stands up to him. She doesn’t win but she does stand up to him. Plus in the scene where she was holding a child under a shower after a diagnosis gone wrong she reminded me of nothing short of the Madonna in Michaelangelo’s Pieta.
• This thinking man's sex symbol 1: Catherine Willows has been this thinking man's sex symbol practically since she first appeared on CSI. I mean think of it, she's gorgeous and a redhead, she's very intelligent but doesn't rub your face in it, she is (for lack of anything near a better word) sassy, she's secure in her own sexuality - after all she used to be a nude dancer. And now, to top it all off she's probably rich, thanks to the guy who gunned down Sam Braun. I mean what man, when presented with all that, would choose Sarah Sidle over Catherine Willows. I know, I know, Grissom would.